Dealing with grief can be so diffcult and when your in college it can almost be overwhelimg. When your in college it may be hard to cope with the loss of a loved one but we your virtual friends are to help!
I can remember the moment that I received the phone call that my beloved grandmother passed away. I honestly feel like I could hear my heart break when I hung up the phone. My Grandmother was like a second mother to me and the only one I felt comfortable to talk to in my house.
When a person goes through grief, people quickly mention the five stages of grief : Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I think that because of these stages, people on the outside looking in tend to think you’re supposed to go through the stages rapidly; when they stop being emotional about it, they subconsciously expect you to do the same. When the death was still fresh in everyone’s mind, my inner most circle was extremely supportive , now that it has been three months since my grandmother has been gone and now I feel like when I mention the hurt I still feel, someone changes the conversation.
Being that my grandmother died a week before midterms, I felt like didn’t have my time to mourn properly. From the day she died to the day of the funeral, I constantly had to tell myself that I had to stay strong for my mother and grandfather. Onn top of all that stress during the week, I was working on an English paper that was worth a huge percent of my grade. I didn’t ask for an extension on the paper because I needed something to work on to get my mind off of funeral business.
When I returned to school after the funeral, I went straight back to work and started studying for midterms. I found myself trying to push back my sorrow and just go back to my normal routine like nothing had ever happened. When I began to do that however, I had a moment of a breakdown.
I actually had to have a moment to myself to figure out how I was going to go through the rest of the semester without crumbling apart. I learned that the key to handle your grief is to realize exactly how you grieve. Some people grieve periodically , like myself, while others go into a deep depression while they grieve. The whole point of the grieving process is to just go through it how you feel is necessary. Not every person grieves the same and some people go through the process quicker than others.
Finding the new normal after a loved one passes away is important as a student. It is a tough process but it helps to mourn properly. This does not mean to move on , but it means to accept the change that has happened in your life.