As kids, we all have this idea in our heads of what we want to be when we grow up. Whether that be a teacher, a nurse, a garbage man (maybe I was the only one?), or President of the United States. We could change what we wanted to be every single day if we wanted to and no one batted an eye. But little did we know that by the time we were 17 or 18, the idea of “what you wanted to be when you grow up” became a lot more serious. And suddenly everyone had something to say about it. Friends, family, teachers, and basically anyone you discussed your future with had something to say.
Eventually you make your decision and start applying to colleges. But has it really been your decision? When you are 18 years old and being asked to make a decision about the rest of your life the chances that outside factors played into your decision is high. Maybe you decided on something because it sounded like it would be the easiest route. Maybe you didn’t pick something because you thought it would be too hard. And maybe you thought they were too hard ore easy because someone told you they were. Advice and helpful input is great, but it is not what should make your decision- that needs to be you.
I am one of the guilty ones. I entered St. Ambrose University planning to be an Occupational Therapist because that is what I had shadowed and that is what people encouraged me to be. Then, when I decided that wasn’t for me…everyone asked why.
“Why are you changing? You’d be so good at it? It’s hard, but you’re smart!”
“Why? You’re so smart, you can do it.”
“Why? You have the brains to do it!”
But the one thing that I didn’t notice until months after was that everyone was commenting on how smart I was, not how happy I was. They didn’t care that my reason had nothing to do with how hard it was and everything to do with how it made me feel. So, I took those comments to heart and changed my major to Political Science, Pre-Law. I was going to be a lawyer and everyone was thrilled.
“That’s so great! You’ll make a great lawyer! You’ve got the brains for it!”
“Law School will be hard, but you can do it”
“It’s a good thing you’re so smart!”
Let’s just be clear about something. I am no genius. No way. I am horrible at math and science and anything with numbers. And yeah, I was appreciative of the support, but there was still something missing. I went into my sophomore year with a mental picture of me in a courtroom. But that mental picture didn’t last long.
I took a step back and realized that this career path wasn’t for me. Going to college and then law school for a combine 8 or so years was not for me. Sitting behind a desk doing paper work and reading old laws was not for me. So, as most college students do, I decided to change my major. But this time, I made the decision completely for myself. I didn’t want to do what people thought I was “smart enough for.” I wanted to do what made me happy. And whether people from the outside thought that it was difficult or not, I didn’t care. So, I changed my major to Strategic Communications. (Which, by the way, for those whose who don’t know…is hard. Every major is hard in its own way, so don’t think otherwise).
There was support for my decision, confusion in why I was changing again, and also those who were disappointed.
“I always saw you as a doctor or lawyer, why’d you change?”
“Are you sure you want to do something like that?”
And my all-time favorite…
“You are wasting your brains, you could do so much more.”
Well, here’s a thing that all college students should know- going to college and getting a degree, any kind of degree, is far from a waste of your brains. You could be a certified genius and decide not to go into law or medicine or science and THAT IS OKAY. You could get not-so-great grades and decide to go into law or medicine or science and THAT IS OKAY. Because honestly, as long as you are happy, confident, and work your butt off, no career is a waste of your talent.
So, do what YOU want to do. Be what YOU want to be. Because trust me, life isn’t about satisfying other people’s expectations of you. And the sooner you learn that, the sooner you can begin to take complete control of your life. There is nothing more liberating than knowing you made a decision completely for yourself. And trust me, it will all work out – switching my major to Strategic Communications made my education and personal life at St. Ambrose so much more interesting and opened up opportunities that I didn’t know existed. I feel welcomed and like I’m working my way towards where I need to be.
It will be worth it, just do it already.
Pictures: what I want to be baby