Texting is a marvelous thing. It’s quick, efficient, and to the point. Seems pretty easy, doesn’t it? Well, I beg to differ. The way I even spell “ok” conveys completely different messages, the rate at which I answer determines how “thirsty” I am, and texting “yeah” means the conversation is most definitely over. These are a few of the unwritten laws of texting, and if any of my fellow texters are reading this, then you will most definitely be able to relate.
1. Make sure you are using “ok” in the right context
Let’s jump right into my first point about spelling the simple yet meaningful “ok.” If I ask you to meet me at Starbucks and you respond saying “okayyy, see you in 10,” that means you’re genuinely excited about getting a chai tea latte with me. If you text me back with an “ok, see you in 10,” that means you still are probably excited about getting a chai tea latte with me, but you’re a robot with no emotions or just extremely lame. HOWEVER, if you “k” me, chances are I’m not showing up to Starbucks because you are obviously really pissed and I don’t want to deal with it. The way you spell “ok” is a huge deal, at least in my world, so make sure you spell it the way you mean it!
2. Answer Back At The Right Time
If you answer back too quickly you’re “thirsty,” but if you don’t answer back fast enough then you’re not interested (“thirsty”= desperate). The unwritten rule of texting in terms of answering back at the right time is equivalency. If you are confused this means if he/she takes 5 minutes to text you back, then you take 5 to text back too. Actually wait 6 minutes, not 5, because then it looks like your trying to wait and that’s weird. So take the more subtle approach and wait just about the equal amount of time to answer back. Do these rules sound crazy yet?
3. “Yeah,” In Other Words Means “Goodbye”
If you text a speech and you receive back a single, “Yeah,” that means the person you’re texting probably doesn’t care about a word you’re saying. So take that as a sign to slide your iPhone to the left and click the little red ‘delete’ button because the conversation is over, my friend.
4. The ;) Emoji Is A Creeper’s Best Friend
First, let me define what I mean by “creeper.” If you’re a creeper you probably have blown up my phone with at least four texts with no response back, texted me after 1 A.M., or liked one of my insta pics from 12 weeks ago. I can almost guarantee that on the rare occasion you actually respond to that late night text, the creeper uses the ;) emoji. I’m not saying it can’t be used in the right context, just make sure you don’t fit the “creep” criteria ;)
5. Never Answer A Person Who Only Texts You After 1 A.M.
A person (who is not just a friend, if you catch my gist) that only texts you after 1 A.M.is a person whose motives are no good. The late-night texter is unworthy of an answer because no one should be texting your phone after that time. If they really wanted to hang out for the right reasons, they would text you at a decent hour. Therefore, wait to answer in the morning for the sake of your dignity. If the late-night texter doesn’t reply to your morning text, you’ll know that if you had answered last night, he or she had no intentions of acknowleding your existence the following day.
6. Don’t Be a Double-Text Offender
If someone doesn’t answer you, unless it is a close family member or a friend, don’t you dare double-text. When you double-text, you look desperate and the person at the other end of the phone is probably getting extremely annoyed. Be patient and he or she will answer. If not, that’s a sign within itself telling you to delete the contact altogether.
It’s not that simple.