I am 19, a college sophomore, and still a virgin.
I go out on the weekends, study hard during the week and hit the gym daily. I live the life of an average college student but still can’t seem to escape the stigma that is attached to being a virgin at 19 years old.
Virginity. It is a very different concept today than it was 5, 10 or even 20 years ago. Where it was once a treasure to be kept until marriage and for “procreation.” it is now given away for the price of pleasure and passion. Personal satisfaction is not necessarily a bad thing, but at what cost? What is it about today’s society that turns a virgin into either a social pariah or a prize to be won?
These are some of the many questions I ask myself because I am a virgin. I feel the weight of this stigma of being a virgin almost everyday. However, the more I talk to and discover other virgins (as rare as that may be) I realize I am not the only one who fears the societal pressures of being a virgin. There are many of us out there who are just as confused and scared by this stigma.
Attached with the title of being a virgin are the notions that we are naïve, inexperienced or prude. However, this is not the case; most of us have at least reached first base and some all the way to third. It is us not running to home plate that causes the guys we hook –up with to react in one of two ways:
1.) “I would never do a virgin; it’s too much work and they are so clingy” or
2.) “HELL YEAH! A virgin! Victorious!”
Being viewed as a sexual prize or as a clingy adolescent makes it hard to feel comfortable enough with someone to lose a possession that is most valuable to us.
Sitting at my computer, writing up the woes of a 19-year-old virgin, I can’t help but wonder, what has changed in society that makes me feel so out of place on a college campus? Could it be the consistent representation of promiscuous youth in America?
Consider today’s most popular T.V. shows geared towards young adults. Secret Life of the American Teenager, Jersey Shore, Real World, and most of all, Teen Mom are shows that portray sex as commonplace. Sure, the majority of young people today are engaging in intercourse, but what about the rest of us?
These shows have turned the idea of being a virgin into something scary and almost embarrassing to admit. I feel my virginity as a burden, when I should feel comfortable at the pace I’m going.
Ultimately I cannot change the way media portrays sex or the way guys think about virginity. But, I am not going to surrender to societal pressures. For now I will be waiting at first, second or third, for the perfect chance to steal home.
To all of the other 19-year-old virgins, feel comfortable with the progression of your sexual pursuits- something’s telling me that the wait is well worth it.