*picture from- www.wallsave.com
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day bliss it only seemed fitting to address the issue of healthy vs. unhealthy relationships. Let’s not forget that the length of Valentine’s Day is included in its name, it only lasts a day: those roses, chocolates, unwavering attention, and passion only last one day-so what lies ahead for your relationship the other 364 days of the year. Happiness and affection shouldn’t just be confined to one day, of course there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship but having a healthy one is a possibility. The relationships in the media have transformed the sacredness of matrimony into a complete mockery. Is it impossible to have a healthy and functional relationship or is it possible?
According to helpguide.org “A healthy relationship is characterized by one that best supports in your life, a healthy relationship is meant to improve all aspects of your life, strengthen your health, mind, and connections with others as well”. People need to realize a relationship is an investment, if you’re really in it for the long run—it’s not that easy just to walk away. For example, a relationship is like a baseball game—it’s going to be hard to hit a home run so there’s effort needed to get from first base to home plate, but you just can’t walk out during the fourth inning, because the game isn’t going the way you intended. The game of love requires skilled/determined players, and if both players aren’t equally committed, the relationship will fall apart. Here are some tips if you personally feel that your relationship is worth salvaging, its cliché enough to say communication is the key to a healthy relationship-because there are so many components that are incorporated.
· Relationship Tip 1 is to keep the intimacy alive. Of course being in a relationship doesn’t entitle you to be physically intimate with your partner, but studies have shown that an affectionate touch boosts the body level of oxytocin, which is a hormone that influences bonding and attachment—this is proof that intimacy is necessary for a relationship.
· Relationship Tip 2 is spending quality time together. It’s normal for two people who have dated for years to get comfortable, it’s imperative to keep the relationship “fresh”: you can rekindle your love by trying something new with your partner and learn how to play with your spouse again—for example, it’s the cutest thing to catch my parents up in the morning playing classic board games like “Trouble”, they enjoy every minute of each others’ company.
· Relationship Tip 3 is to keep the communication alive and vibrant, because communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship—it’s a must to learn your partner emotionally, mentally, and physically, DON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN A ROUTINE-talk about varying topics.
· Relationship Tip 4 is healthy relationships function on the principle “give and take” it should be an equal partnership, one person shouldn’t be giving 100% while the other is giving 37.5% and reaping the benefits: you should know what’s important to your partner, learn how to resolve conflicts in a way that benefits you and your partners, and try to stay away from always being “right”, winning the argument shouldn’t be more important than resolving it.
· Relationship Tip 5 is to expect the unexpected—don’t think your relationship will only see good times, because any real relationship will undergo numerous “ups and downs”, which will serve as a true test of your relationship: it’s good to keep an open mind, to not take your emotions/problems out on your partner, and be able to realize when a problem is bigger than the both of you—it’s not out of the norm to seek outside help. If you feel that your relationship needs more work, than these tips can offer seek counseling, therapy, or spiritual guidance.
It’s hard to have a healthy relationship in college—it’s rare but it’s “do able”. There’s just more dedication required because your maturity level might not be at the same level of your partner’s, but especially on a small campus at Rowan—you need to be above the drama, foolishness, and gossip of your peers. It’s going to be a challenge to maintain your relationship in college, but it’s not impossible. Just keep this in mind, with anything worth having is worth fighting for, Thomas Jefferson said this best—if you believe your relationship is worth the fight don’t let it burn like the last ember in a fire.