Everyone is different—unique. We all have our own quirks, beliefs, and “flaws,” as some may say. The problem with society is that we are brainwashed to believe that our differences are flaws, or imperfections. Who is to define perfection and imperfection in the first place?
When confronted about insecurities, Jenna Filippoli, sophomore at Rowan University, stated her own internal conflicts. “I feel like my biggest flaw is my complexion. I’ve never had the clearest skin, and I always compare myself to the other girls because it seems like everyone else has flawless complexions.”
Because we spend endless hours focusing on our appearance, our eyes view insignificant blemishes as major faults; we become so fixated that we fail to notice the beauty we have to offer—both inside and out.
Whenever a friend mulls over her appearance, I always repeat the same advice: “You are who you are; you look the way you look. You can either dwell on it or embrace it.” Comparing ourselves to other people will lead to a life of pure misery; it is a pointless and troublesome cycle that will never help our self-esteem. We all have our own personal battles that we may not be proud of or confident about.
Although Filippoli struggles with her skin, she works to reach self-acceptance and avoids comparisons to other girls. “I try to tell myself that appearances aren’t everything.”
There are certain pieces of ourselves that we cannot change, whether it is the size of our nose, the crookedness of our teeth, or the extra weight we just cannot seem to shed (no matter how long we spend at the gym each day—hours!) These things grow important to us, but they are only a minor part of who we really are; in fact, they are merely superficial and trivial aspects of our appearance, which are not accurate gages of our true being. Our focus should mainly be on bettering ourselves from the inside, maintaining a positive attitude, improving our education, and building our maturity and social skills. But realize, this all should be done with confidence and ease. It is never helpful to beat ourselves up. However, it is okay to want to do better, as long as we remember to be easy on our hearts and to have self-acceptance.
Unfortunately, insecurity is inevitable at times, especially while we work to find ourselves. But what we must keep in mind is that everyone has different preferences, styles, and mindsets; rather than changing to fit someone’s else’s, we must embrace our own desires and unique qualities. Only then can we lead the life we desire.