Halloween is personally my favorite holiday of the year. I say holiday because it totally should be a holiday, and I’m in denial that it’s not; I think it is perfectly acceptable to take a day off for the purposes of self-expression through wily guises, the opportunity to eat 9834032984 fun-size Twix bars with no shame, and to order white color contacts from England for $25 and the hope the package isn’t lying when it says the contacts are FDA approved. A whole day is definitely needed for this.
Some girls like to, let’s say, show off their assets on Halloween and express themselves through cliché costumes that I must say I am #done with seeing out and about on October 31st. These costumes include, and are limited to, the cat costume phenomenon. See exhaustive list below:
1. Cat
The cat enigma. Why? Just why? The only rational relationship I see between cats and Halloween is that cats don’t have souls (I’m a dog person) and, well—it’s Halloween. Souless creatures fit in. That’s acceptable.
I guess I also understand that Gretchen Wieners in Mean Girls was a cat for Halloween. And her dad invented to Toaster Strudel…which is pretty neat. I understand the desire to emulate her. However, it has been eleven (!!!) years since Gretchen Wieners was a cat for Halloween—it’s time to move on.
There are far more original costumes than being a cat for Halloween, and you can still don your leotard and bear those assets I was talking about earlier. My top suggestions include: an ocelot, a snow leopard, saber tooth tiger, etc. As much as I don’t care for cats, I’m not ordering you to completely snub the feline family—who do you think I am? I care about your Halloween costume as well as your animal preferences, or else I wouldn’t be writing this article.
(But if I had to leave you with anything, Glen Coco would definitely be a dog—or an ocelot). Just don’t be a cat. I beg of you.
Enjoy planning for the 31st, ladies. xoxo