In college, a girl has a lot on her mind; how to score an A on the next exam, how to land her dream internship, how to get the best shopping deals and how to put on eye liner as perfectly as the magazines show us.
Basically, we ladies want to know how to accomplish whatever it is that we want to accomplish.
And, magazines tell us how. When it comes to health, they suggest better eating habits. When it comes to school, they give you study tips. When it comes to social life, they show you how to land the hottie. As they encourage the independence of young women, modern day realities leave us lost on what to do when situations don’t go the way the magazine pictured it for you. How do you deal with real life when it slaps you in the face?
Many college-aged women have very different views about the idea of sex—other than those simply written
about in magazines—concerning with whom and how often it should take place, as do our male counterparts, our parents, their entire generation and the generation before that.
According to UrbanDictionary.com—an extremely notable source—the idea of a “walk of shame” is described as the walk home after a one-night-stand, which is sometimes celebrated as a “stride of pride.”
In describing the latter, the satire of a dictionary refers the stride of pride as, “an occasion in which one must traverse public avenues the morning after a sexual encounter. One’s status as a ‘strider’ is usually apparent in the nature of one’s dress, that somehow clearly indicates that one did not return to one’s own home the night before. The quality of the sexual encounter and/or the social status of the partner(s) are generally factors that will turn a ‘walk’ into a ‘stride.’”
The website continues to joke that the stride is often marked by tousled hair, stolen t-shirts and/or yesterday’s outfit. Though it is highly unlikely to wake up looking prom-ready, the website speaks the truth, and we all know it.
There is a company in Miami creating a “Walk of Shame Kit” used to help disguise any judgment brought on by the apparent walk home, including a note card to leave behind that reads “Call me” on one side and “Thanks for nothing” on the other.
But, there is no equivalent on the market for males. So, what is this saying about sexuality, in all aspects?
Our generation prides itself on women activism, education and independence, yet we set ourselves back when we refer to such situations in a negative light.
How are we, as individuals, supposed to support the notion of equality for all, especially regarding sexual endeavors, when the world is stuck in the past? This is modern day, and we are all women who seek pleasure, both intimately and in everyday life. We all want to be proud of ourselves, and it begins with addressing those hush-hush topics.
Whether or not your world was rocked, shocked, or included crashing at a friend’s place for the night, the walk home always seems to be uncomfortable. Though after having been a witness to this situation plenty of times, the problem seems not in our own actions as women, but in how we let the world perceive us. If we walk home looking like we were the victim of the classic “booty call,” the world is going to think just that. But, if we walk home with the attitude that we had a great time last night—probably better than those staring at you—then they will be the ones second guessing themselves.
And as woman, we need to stop judging one another.
In quoting the beloved movie Mean Girls, Ms. Norbury tells the student body, “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores.”
We are in college setting the road for the next generation, and though perhaps being a selective sexual dynamo might be best for some women, but if another wants to work what her mama gave her, she has the right to do so. Backing one another up, as one independent force, is what will prove to the world that we are not people to be messed with. Standing up for ourselves, empowering ourselves and protecting each other will create a unity unlike any sexual bond.
There is too much talk about why we shouldn’t talk about sex. But, we are woman who are going to rule the world someday, and sex is a part of that world.
So, there is nothing wrong with a night resulting in a stride of pride in the morning. Just hold your head high, at any cost—which is the real success—and stop putting your hoods up, pretending to text, while avoiding eye contact. Because really, who is that empowering?
We’re in college, we’re living and learning, and there is no shame in that.