There’s no point in fighting the fact that college is hard. Students on every campus across the globe are struggling with academics, making friends, extracurricular activities, finances, and so on. For many, balancing all of these struggles at once is not an easy task, but it grows to be an even harder task when your mental and physical health is thrown on the line.
For years I’ve struggled with eating issues and never really put much thought into taking care of them. For years I thought that these issues were normal, or something like a phase, and eventually they would go away. It was seemingly taught on every television show I watched growing up that it was “normal” for girls to want to be skinnier, that it was “normal” for girls to hate what they saw in the mirror. This normalcy has, in my opinion, been carried on in society as depicting the skinnier women as the most beautiful women. The media loves to point out what flaws any person may have. Kim Kardashian, for example, put on weight because she –god forbid—was having a child. The media was quick to compare her to animals such as a whale for putting on a noticeable amount of weight. That scrutiny, for a generation that is so heavily influenced by media, really has an impact on girls’ (and boys’) self-images. If someone we see as beautiful is being labeled as fat, what does that make us? The girls who don’t look like super models?
Society’s view on weight only added to my already huge insecurity about my appearance. Maybe if I lost a few pounds, I would like how I looked. With that mindset, I would go days without eating, and over-exercise to the point of almost passing out. These days without food left me exhausted and terribly shaky. To make up for not eating, I would eat a ridiculous amount of food (roughly anywhere from three thousand to six thousand calories in one sitting), then feel bad about eating that much, and make myself sick in order to fix that mistake. At that point, I knew it was wrong, but the cycle continued and only escalated when I began college.
My first year of college was the best year of my life, but the stress of my future and one bad grade that lowered my GPA led to emotional eating, which only made the cycle worse.
Thankfully, I decided that I didn’t want to end up fighting back and forth with myself, and thankfully, University Health Services has amazing programs for people struggling with eating disorders to lean on.
Disclaimer: These treatments are covered by most insurance policies, but check with UHS for more information.
Nutrition Clinic
The first step I personally took was seeing a dietician at UHS. There, we discussed my issues and developed a set of goals. I have learned that when people have a binging disorder, the foods that they are binging on are not ones that are particularly healthy for them. That being said, we developed a meal plan, which included relearning the “MyPlate” plan many of us were taught in elementary school. A lot of the process of working with a dietician is teaching yourself to not see food as an enemy or a coping device. Fortunately, Penn State’s dining halls do offer a large variety of food (some days are better than others – check the menu when you can), and the salad bar in the HUB has almost any food you could ever imagine – especially if you’re looking to expand your horizons and figure out what exactly you do like. These dieticians can even go so far as to help you look into the foods that campus is serving, and figure out which ones you should have, avoid, and work towards getting comfortable with again.
Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS)
After seeing my dietician, I was able to set up a meeting with a caseworker, who suggested I take part in the Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) Program. CAPS is an amazing program that I was lucky enough to be able to work with. In the CAPS program I was a part of, there was a four-star approach. This approach set me up with a team of one counselor, one dietician, one caseworker, and one doctor who specialized in eating disorders. These four individuals really know what they’re talking about and can provide you with personalized ways to help you in the best way possible. The people you are seeing specialize in these issues, and really know how to help (especially people in the college environment). They would never use the word, “disorder,” which I find has a negative connotation, and they would never let you look at the weight that was on the scale. You were always made to face the opposite direction of the scale when you were standing on it. When being weighed, the physician would always stress, “it’s just a number, it doesn’t define you,” which is one of the mantras I feel people all over need to learn to embrace.
Weekly and Bi-Weekly Appointments
What I found really helped the most about this program was the fact that I would end up seeing my counselor on a weekly basis and my physician on a bi-weekly basis. These appointments are very inspirational and crucial for your progress. They’re made to help you, and if you don’t go to these appointments, there won’t be any advancement made. I found we discussed new information during each appointment, and because of that, I found things that I never really knew were acting as triggers to my disorder.
My Personal Advice: Don’t Just Say You Will, Actually Act!
I must admit, I did manage to go to a few dietician appointments and say I would try to follow the meal plan I was working with, but completely forget about it after. If anything, that only held me back from actually overcoming these issues. Eventually, I made a conscience effort to focus on working with this plan, and working towards a better diet. A lot of these changes can only be made when you take the time to decide that you want to get better, which is a lot easier for some.
People with eating disorders, often, but not always, have another form of mental issue that they are dealing with at the same time as their disorder. Sometimes doctors will prescribe you a medicine to help you better manage these issues. The key to this medicine helping you is taking it every single day. If you don’t, you most likely won’t see any positives from taking it.
One of the most important things to remember if you, or someone you love is dealing with an eating disorder is that you/they are not weak. Dealing with these issues has been one of the most challenging experiences in my life, and while your body in some ways may be weaker, your mind has the ability to be stronger than ever before. Having the courage to admit you need help, and to get said help is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is one of the biggest signs of strength. You are not alone in your battle, and you certainly do not have to go through this alone with the help that is available thanks to UHS. These issues will not be fixed overnight, and I am still dealing with them to this day. I can’t promise you the fight will be easy, but I can promise you that it will be worth it. Keep fighting because you’re worth the fight.
Other Helpful Resources:
– More info on the CAPS program
– National Eating Disorders Association
– Book: 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder: Effective Strategies from Therapeutic Practice and Personal Experience by Carolyn Costin
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