I am a feminist. And if you talk to any of my best friends, family members or peers, they would say that I’m pretty vocal about it. I’m proud to be a feminist because I love everything that feminism embodies and have no problem sharing my beliefs.
However, people aren’t always supportive of the fact that I consider myself a feminist and love to challenge me. Don’t get me wrong, I love a great argument and have an open mind to different viewpoints. However, it’s frustrating when people make comments to me on what they think feminism is when in actuality, they have it completely backwards.
Here are the 14 comments every feminist is so over hearing.
1. “Oh, you’re a feminist?”
Based on their appalled reaction, you’d swear that I had just dropped the F-bomb.
2. “You’re only a feminist because of Beyoncé”
Don’t get me wrong. I love my celeb feminists like Beyoncé, T-Swift and Miley Cyrus, but I assure you that I’m not a feminist because it’s “cool.”
3. “You don’t look like you would be a feminist”
People assume that feminists are butch, hairy, angry and the list of stigmas goes on and on. Just because I’m a petite girly-girl who shaves and always has a smile on her face does not make me less of a feminist in any way.
4. “The wage gap does not exist”
Point me to a profession (from engineering to professional sports), and I’ll show you a wage gap.
5. “Feminazi”
If I have to go into detail on why this is a horrendous comparison, we have a bigger issue here.
6. “I’m not a feminist because I want to be a stay-at-home mom”
There’s a stigma that feminists are anti-family. Personally, I follow wedding pages on Instagram and cannot wait to be a wife and mother. Being a feminist simply means you want women to have the power to make this choice rather than women succumbing under societal pressures and doing these things because they feel like they have to rather than want to.
7. “Feminists only want glamorous jobs”
From “glamorous” jobs like account executives and CEOs to blue-collar jobs like mechanics and welders, women are often the minority and face discrimination. Feminists don’t want equality in some jobs, we want equality throughout the entire workforce.
8. “Does that mean that you are anti-men?”
It’s actually just the opposite. Feminists acknowledge that men are affected by the patriarchy just as much as women. The patriarchy paints a picture of what a “man” should be. He has to be dominant. He can’t cry. He can’t do “woman’s work” like cooking and cleaning. He can’t be sexually assaulted, and the list goes on. And if a man acts outside these societal norms, he is often called “gay” or compared to a “girl.” If this is how society insults a man, what does that say about the way society views homosexuals and females?
At the end of the day, manhood puts pressure on males on how they should look and act, and it is hurting them in the process. Men are taught to hold back their feelings at all costs and are less likely to speak up about sexual assaults because if they do, they are considered less of a man. Along with women, men should have the right to live in a world where they can freely express how they feel and be who they want to be without being reprimanded for it.
9. “Wow, you’re really getting heated up over this”
Well, duh. I take destroying the patriarchy very seriously.
10. “So, you don’t like chivalry?”
Feminists don’t believe that chivalry should be dead – we simply don’t believe in gender roles. That being said, I don’t believe a man should feel obligated to be the breadwinner, pay for my meals, open doors for me and so on. However, that does not mean I don’t appreciate it when a man does these things for me because I do. I just believe that men shouldn’t feel like “less of a man” or a failure when they don’t provide for a woman or their family. Plus, I find paying for a man and providing for myself extremely empowering.
11. “I can’t be a feminist because I’m a man”
Men can totally be feminists! In fact, they’re encouraged to be. Gender equality is nearly impossible to achieve when mostly one gender is advocating for it.
12. “Women in other countries are suffering way worse than you are”
One word for you: intersectionality. Intersectional feminism acknowledges that all women do not experience the same pain and examines how a woman’s race, religion, sexual orientation, class, etc. intersects to form a different degree of oppression. However, to imply that we should pity all these women in these “third-world” countries and assume they are all suffering and being oppressed creates a hierarchy in society that places the people in the Western world on top of the totem pole. This hierarchy infers that we need to save these weak women in these countries because their suffering is worse than those in the Western world. This is not only insulting to these women (especially the women who are not being oppressed), but it infers that these women have no agency in the decisions that they make, which is often not the case.
13. “You already have equal rights”
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if this person is joking or serious.
14. “Feminism implies women are greater than men”
By definition, feminism is the political, economic and social equality of the sexes. Just because feminists believe that men are not greater than women does not imply that we think women are greater than men. Feminism is equality. Both genders are awesome, and feminists basically want society to recognize that all genders are on the same level of awesomeness.
Now, I’m not saying that you have to claim yourself as a feminist – that’s your prerogative. Rather, before you knock feminism, make sure that you understand it.
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