1. What do you consider Kinky?
Anonomous_Mermaid79: It’s kinda hard to categorize it because there is so many things that can be included. I kinda feel like it is anything – it’s whatever is not “vanilla”.
Anonymous_horndog: I think it depends on the person, but stepping out of your comfort zone and not doing the same thing every time. It could be something you wouldn’t normally do but you want to try.
Anonymous_Dreamer: Personally, something kinky involves being outside of your comfort zone and engaging in something that is not considered traditional and you normally would not engage in.
Anonymous_kinkster: It really depends on the person, but I think kinky is anything that isn’t in the norm for you and a little out of your comfort zone.
2. Have you partaken in some kinky fun before? If so, where did you start?
Anonomous_Mermaid79: I dated a guy in high school who was very much into kinky stuff (Hey Diego *Insert winking emoji here*). I mean we did not start out with like ropes and chains or anything crazy. In the beginning, it was kinda just a tad rough but as time went on we adventured to new things.
Anonymous_horndog: I have not done anything crazy out there kinky or that could be remade in 50 Shades. This article and Valentines Day inspired me to get a little more out there because I feel like it’s just the same old things now and people are having so much fun with it and I want to too. I bought some handcuffs and a blindfold to kind of ease into it, I don’t want to go super hard but I feel like that’s a good place to start.
Anonymous_Dreamer: It started my freshman year of college, I started dating this guy who was very into trying new things and exploring different options. It mostly started with being rough and that led into being tied up and just stuff like that.
Anonymous_kinkster: My first kinky experience was actually earlier this year. I was hooking up with this boy for a while, and he was super into all of that. I had never tried anything kinky before so we started off slow with just blindfolding and handcuffs. You gotta ease into it to make sure you’re not pushing your boundaries too much.
3. How do you know what you are into?
Anonomous_Mermaid79: You kind of just know. When you are doing it, you will either be uncomfortable and comfortable and like no matter what, you might get nervous because you are trying something out-of-the-box but just have to make sure you’re comfortable with what’s going on and you feel safe.
Anonymous_horndog: I feel like you either get excited and want to see what happens or scared and don’t want to try it or think about it. It’s about kind of knowing yourself and what you feel comfortable with.
Anonymous_Dreamer: You just kind of figure it out, while doing it you might start out uncomfortable but excited. And over time you began to realize that it is something you enjoy want to keep doing. Being nervous at first is perfectly normal it’s a part of exploring and growing.
Anonymous_kinkster: It’s a trial and error thing. You pretty much need to try different things to know if you like them or not. You could be into it in the moment, but not sure how you feel until afterward.
4. How do you explain to your partner what you want?
Anonomous_Mermaid79: You have to be straightforward and honest. Some people are into it and some people are not, but you’d be surprised at how many people have an open mind about it.
Anonymous_horndog: I would say just be honest and tell them. They may want the same thing, but if they don’t, at least you tried and told them what you wanted.
Anonymous_Dreamer: You have to be honest, and be open about the wants and needs that you have. Honestly, it can open a new world for you, but if you never talk about it nothing will happen.
Anonymous_kinkster: You have to first of all be comfortable enough with the person and honest. Communication is key for any type of relationship to work, let alone doing kinky things.
5. How do you come up with boundaries?
Anonomous_Mermaid79: Like I said, you kinda have to talk about it before and talk about what each other is comfortable or what you’re nervous about but want to try or what is like 100% off the table. Also remember, that in the middle of it sometimes people change their mind and that’s totally fine. The most important thing is that you’re communicating so that everyone is getting what they want.
Anonymous_horndog: It’s about what you’re comfortable with, you have to tell each other what you want so there is no confusion. You may have to compromise what you would want to do so that your partner is comfortable.
Anonymous_Dreamer: You have to have a conversation about it before jumping right into it, you have to let them know when you are comfortable and when you are not. Keeping the communication open even during is important because just because you want to try something does not mean that you will enjoy it. It is okay to express that and stop what you are doing, there is nothing wrong with that.
Anonymous_kinkster: In this type of situation, you need to be understanding of what you’re comfortable with, and what the other person is comfortable with too. You can create a safe word for whenever something would become too much and you don’t enjoy it anymore. Again, honesty is the best when coming up with boundaries.
6. What’s the best advice you can give to someone who thinks they are interested in dipping their toes into the kinky life?
Anonomous_Mermaid79: Almost everyone is nervous and scared the first few times, but be adventurous if you think you might be interested. Like I said, you’d be surprised on how many people are into it and how exciting it can be if done with someone you are comfortable with. Also, don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with. Everyone has boundaries and your partners should respect those.
Anonymous_horndog: Don’t be afraid to try, it is totally fine to explore and have fun. Be safe and make sure everyone involved is comfortable.
Anonymous_Dreamer: Being nervous is okay, I think being comfortable with your partner and expressing what you want is the first step. As tough as that conversation can be you never know, more people are open to the idea of engaging in kinky behavior than one thinks. Respect your partner’s boundaries but most importantly respect yours and be open to what they are.
Anonymous_kinkster: It seems a little scary at first just because it’s something you’ve never done before, but my advice would be to make sure you’re doing it with the right person. If they are someone you can trust and are comfortable with, it’s going to end up being a great time, and you might also find things out about yourself you never knew.