As you finish up the second week of school, you must push yourself out of the syllabus week slump and head into study mode, because usually around this time professors schedule their first test. The first test is always the worst.
Like many students after summer, in the first few weeks of school you may have lacked motivation and found it difficult to get back in the swing of things, which has left you with only one option for that first test – an all-nighter.
The night usually starts with the realization that you have fallen behind in class. “OMG! I haven’t kept up with readings and I missed class twice! I am screwed.” (Yes, I’ve been there.)
Some tears will usually follow this unfortunate realization, or you may whine to your roommate about how unfair it is that the test is covering this much material. But then you focus. You suddenly convince yourself that you can do this and you will do this. You will ace this test.
You will then likely call your friend/classmate and convince him/her to pull an all-nighter with you. They agree.
The first thing you realize is that you need some fuel. You decide to stock up on some trail mix, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, and Smartfood. You legitimize your unhealthy snack choices by calling them “brain food.”
What will you wash these delicious treats down with? An energy drink of course! You grab a monster or two. Perhaps you’re more of a coffee girl and choose to indulge in a Dunkin large coffee with a turbo shot.
You head to the library and pat yourself on the back for being there. What dedication you have. You settle in, open the book, and read. And read. And read.
And then you become bored. Your hands are trembling from the caffeine, and you feel like wasting your energy talking to your friend rather than reading your dull textbook. You talk for almost an hour while occasionally reading a sentence or two to reassure yourself that you’re still being productive. You then talk about how you’re being bad influences on each other and must focus. You go back to review your notes on your computer but decide instead you should check up on all of your social media feeds because they are obviously more important. You check Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Vine because maybe some people still use that. You then stalk mass amounts of people.
You focus once again, but you realize you no longer have energy. You need a nap. Just a twenty-minute one, “a cat-nap”! But of course that turns into an hour and a half and you wake up with a pile of drool on the table in front of you. Perhaps a run up and down the Hillman stairs will give you an energy kick. It doesn’t. So you spend the next hour calculating the lowest grade you could get to still maintain an A in the class. Or maybe you Google what students on Ratemyprofessor.com said about the professor’s previous tests. Or maybe you try to convince yourself that it’s okay if you score poorly on this one because the professor only counts your four best test scores out of five. So it’s fine, you’ll ace those. Change of plans. No biggie.
It’s now 5 am. No one is in the library. You’re a lone wolf. You have to tweet about it. You find your own tweets dramatic yet hilarious. You frown for getting no favorites. Like why isn’t anyone else awake to tweet and entertain you!?
You study a bit more. You give up. You can’t go any longer.
You get a text from your mom. “Good morning honey! How are things? :-)” You respond that things are going great even though you are sleep deprived, hungry, dirty, and about to fail a test.
You’ve made it this far though; you must not give up.
It’s now five minutes until your test. You stand at the door clenching your notes in your hands trying to memorize everything you possibly can before you walk in. You look around you. Why is a girl wearing a sundress while you appear like a mangled beast with untamed hair dressed in pajamas?
Whatever. You probably studied harder than her and will do better.
Although, who even cares at this point. You pulled an all-nighter. You’re a rock star. You run out of the test and head straight for your bed because you’re obviously not going to any other classes; that would just be asking for too much.
Instead you skip, letting yourself fall further behind in a new course. Smart.