Touch Me Here, Don't Touch Me There

When it comes to having a good experience in the bedroom, it has occurred to many that there’s not a lot of open banter amongst women, or by women, about what they like.  Recently, I came across the September issue of Cosmopolitan magazine and there was an article about the 25 moves that men want their women to do with them in bed.  The article titled “25 Sex Moves He Wishes You’d Use” comprised a list of the 25 things that a group of guys said that they wish their partners would do, and they did not hold back.  As I read through these moves, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Why don’t I ever see articles about what women want/like/wish their mates would do as often as I see how for women to please the men?!”  My mission was to go out and talk to some women (and guys) to find out what some gals have been requesting or speaking up about in the bedroom.
Through my digging, I have come across a number of common preferences:

  • A good kisser (not too much tongue or saliva)
  • Going down (no teeth)
  • Passion, or being engaging
  • Interest in her every move
  • Multi-tasking (i.e., kissing, gripping, and being carried)
  • Being able to have fun and laugh during

A lot of ladies were a bit uncomfortable with revealing some of these things, but I had to give them a little bit of encouragement because having sex should never be just about lying there and letting the guy have all the fun! Starting off with some good foreplay is always a great way to lighten up the mood. Engaging in a little frisky behavior is always a plus, especially if you are comfortable with your partner. Being comfortable with your partner is a big factor in your experience and actually enjoying the sexual nature of your relationship.  
Those women who were totally comfortable with speaking to me gave me some pretty juicy things that they enjoy! HerCampus Pitt President, Nahja Martin, shared with us about the fun of biting in one of her Frisky Fridays articles, but she also gave me some more do’s and don’ts.  An intense gaze that pulls you in during the act is always good. Nahja and I agree that getting a little rougher than usual is all right (along with Lindsey, who consented to an interview).

Two ladies who opted not to be mentioned expressed their love of having very heated intercourse that involves getting rough but with playfulness all mixed in.  A lot of women find it comical, and even a turn off, when the guy is being way too serious.  Other turn offs that came up:

  • No to feet touching, and even no to brashly prying open of the legs,
  • No excessive cuddling, and (almost unanimously)
  • No kissing in the morning with the “morning after breath”!

To come up with some balance in this discussion, I did consult some guys, simply asking them to dish what they’ve learned, or have been told, that their partners like. My friend Kaliym, says that “multi-tasking is almost a must with women in general, and asking for requests is always a plus!” Travis also mentioned that he has been asked to have adventurous rendezvous in new places (sometimes even public places), he says, “Great sex is fun and adventurous sex, and who wouldn't want to make breakfast with each other in the morning?" Eric claims almost every girl he’s been with likes for the guy to go down on them (perform cunnilingus), hold onto their hips, and kiss them down their body. He even came across a girl who liked for her back to be scratched during sex! 

All in all, we need to speak up more, ladies. Sex is such a male-dominated subject when it comes to talking about it freely. Women should feel much more comfortable about their sex lives in general. Yes, there are some ladies out there who have no qualms about discussing the topic and even sharing detailed accounts. Having sex should not be so serious; we are allowed to have fun, and as women we should make sure that we get taken care of too. So next time, tell him to touch you there, or don’t touch you there. Show him, instruct him; guys love being taught about you in intimate situations, so no more holding back. Hope this encourages some of you to have more fun next time.



Photo Credits 1, 2, and 3.