I will always be the first person to defend our generation when the old folks start mocking us for being obsessed with our phones. So what if we take pictures of everything including ourselves? I am both enjoying every moment of my life while I’m in it as well as documenting it to enjoy the memory of it over and over again. As such, I’m still OBSESSED with Instagram. I know all my posts fit the now-classic Insta clichés, but I just can’t stop. I can pretend I’m being ironic but we all know that’s a lie; I usually just want to show off what a great hair day I’m having.
We all have an idealized Insta-self, right? I know your life looks a little different without a Valencia filter. I can see right through your little social media lies so it’s only fair I reveal mine as well in handy-dandy list form.
1. “I eat healthy food.”
The truth: Strawberries and blueberries are basically the only fruit I eat. And I bought that brie on a whim when I saw it and was thrust into deep nostalgia of being in high school French club. It was a delicious snack I ate three days in a row and haven’t thought about since. That veggie juice/smoothie/green slush? IT WAS AWFUL. I can try to be on the spinach and kale juice kick like the rest of the trendy health world as much as I want, but a desire to fit in doesn’t stop my taste buds from yelling at me as soon as I take a sip. I dumped it down the sink immediately.
2. “I love nature!”
The truth: This is a picture of the Monongahela by the Waterfront. It looks like I’m enjoying a nice day out, maybe just taking a stroll for some fresh air. In reality, I took this solely for Instagram purposes. I was actually going to Best Buy to fix my broken laptop. That water is very dirty and I was very out of place. Now get me back inside where there are snacks and electricity and Netflix.
3. “I’m a busy college student who desperately needs to be caffeinated.”
The truth: While this statement is entirely accurate – I am a very, very, very tired and overrun college student who relies on too many cups of coffee a day – it’s not the reason I posted this photo. I was actually just way too early for class and wanted to avoid eye contact with the three other people who were already there. Thank you to all the phones I’ve ever had for allowing me to successfully avoid human interaction since sixth grade.
4. “My squad rolls hard.”
The truth: There are no lies here. We are 100% cool.
5. “We have celebrity friends!”
The truth: Drake actually does occasionally stop by and hang out with the HC Pitt crew. You may have seen him tabling with us at the Fall Activities Fair, but what he really loves is a good pitch session! Meet him yourself at our weekly meetings – Sundays at 8pm in 540 WPU!*
*We don’t actually know Drake. But we did love him in Degrassi.
Photo credit: 1, Author’s Instagram @laurnace and HC Pitt Instagram @HerCampusPitt