Soon, the days when someone’s iPhone would blare “Alarm,” iOS7’s ringtone first on the list, will be gone. These days, things have gotten much more peaceful at Apple. “Alarm” has been traded out for a quiet “Apex.” “Trill,” an auditory attack of high pitched electronic sound, has moved over for “Twinkle,” something that you could definitely play to get a baby to sleep. There’s no longer animal sounds (duck or bark), no vehicle sounds (motorcycle or old car horn), or anything that actually rings (doorbell, old phone, or bell tower). Apple is clearly going for a new sound with iOS8; it has gone from alerting you to gently reminding you. They are lulling us further into the hipster new-age, where it is okay to speak softly and carry a large coffee. Let us all laugh at these new ringtone changes now, so we can tell our children that we were the first to do so.
“Duck” (literally, it was a duck quacking) and “Bark” have transformed into a beautiful “Night Owl” in iOS8. I have no idea why it is titled as this graceful bird, however, because the ringtone is something I imagine is a preset on an electric keyboard somewhere. On why it isn’t a more natural sound, the owls responded to my request for comment:
Noisy “Pinball” machine sounds have been supplemented with the upbeat jingle “Playtime.” This melody reminiscent of a children’s song may alert you, but it will also definitely make you sweat fear when it “rings” out in your empty house at night.
The boing-ing “Sonar” that used to grab the attention of all sailors nearby has been replaced by tranquil “Waves,” “By the Sea Side,” and “Ripple.” All of these are reminiscent of a calm day spent ocean-side, letting the breeze blow your hair back.
Lastly, the “Piano Riff” beloved by many of our older population (you know the one that goes “do do do dooo do”) has been rid of in favor of calmer sets with melodious guitars. “Twinkle,” “Uplift,” and “Silk” all are ready to carry you away with their graceful positivity. Even when your landlord calls to ask for overdue rent, you’ll be spirited away.
Overall, iOS8 ringtones could try a little less hard to envelope all that is serene. The switch from the boisterous noises of iOS7 to these relaxed, upbeat melodies is ridiculously dramatic. If the trends continue the way they’re going, we’ll all end up like these guys:
Note: iOS7 ringtones can still be found under the “classic” selection if you want to relive the old, louder days.