You may not know me, but I was the HC Pitt Editor in Chief from 2012-2013. This organization has been my pride and joy since I first joined a little over two years ago. It was only five of us at the time, but from what I remember from those Sunday afternoon meetings in Panera (which is laughable to our now 30+ staff), those few of us gave a breath of life to the HC Pitt family.
(The HC Pitt team last year at our Girl’s Night Out Event!)
As you might be able to see, we’ve come a long way. You can’t always see the numbers, but we went from only 2,000 views a week to averaging over 10,000. We’ve also ranked in the top ten weekly out of over 300 other schools in the country. As you can see, because of you, our readers, we’re full on HC reppin’ and I couldn’t be prouder. Because of you, we’ve been able to empower the women (and men) on our campus and help with whatever Pitt women need help with – a fresh hairstyle idea, latest news, or advice on getting over that emotionally abusive relationship. So for that, thank you.
But I have another reason for this column other than boasting our accomplishments. I’m graduating next week and I want to share some very personal “college” insights with you all, completely honest insights that I hope you can grasp something from before it is your time to graduate.
College wasn’t what I thought it would be. It wasn’t the BEST 4 years of my life.
Cue the gasps. But, it’s true. I didn’t find 15 of my bridesmaids, nor did I find my husband (ironically, however, my current boyfriend goes to Penn State). I didn’t even have the dorm experience for more than a year (thanks for forgetting about housing for transfers, Pitt). And sometimes I had great nights out with friends, while other times, I sat in my room wondering where the hell all the people to hang with were. I love Pitt, but I’ll admit, it took awhile to get over the fact that I couldn’t attend my number one school, because of money (but unlike that WSJ girl, I am thankful to have attended school at all). I also made it out of a two-year long, horrendously volatile relationship and lost touch with people who I thought would be in my life forever.
I’m not telling you all of this as a “woe is me story,” because, quite frankly, “ain’t nobody got time for that.” And it wasn’t all THAT terrible. I had some amazing experiences (shout out to Panther Habitat for Humanity, Her Campus Pitt, Sigma Kappa Sorority, and my amazing professors who introduced me to this amazing thing called creative nonfiction). But I’m telling you about it anyway, because it’s what I wasn’t told, and what I want you to know – that it’s okay to not have your expectations met and it’s okay to be let down. No one’s college experience is absolutely perfect. But what is not okay to do, is walk away from the let-downs you do have with nothing to show for it. In my case, the disappointments listed above seem trivial, and some were, but some really do still sting. But some of the biggest disappointments shaped who I am the most – in a positive way.
Pitt wasn’t always my dream school, but it was what I could afford. Sometimes I would wonder if I’d end up more or less successful because of my school choice. And I’ve learned that no, it doesn’t really matter where you go, as long as you work hard. I started out at little Cal U, and went to Pitt for three years almost entirely on loans. I’m blessed and humbled to say that it was my motivation, not school name, that led me to where I am today, which is the amazing NYC where I work as in intern for Ladies’ Home Journal. Maybe I would have gotten to where I am a little faster if I had accepted that admission to BU or Syracuse, but all I know is that I’m here now.
And like many women do, I had a sh*tty relationship for the first two years. But I don’t let it define me and I never will. When you only have four years, a relationship can take up a lot of time and before you know it, it’s over, and you’re already a junior wondering why you didn’t just have fun. Maybe it would have been nice to have had a normal relationship, but it just didn’t happen for me. As sad as that makes me at times, I refuse to let that taint my college experience. It was just a bump in the road, but I made it through. And I gained some self-worth in the process.
It was also hard for me to meet people when I transferred schools and had to leave my sorority. I envied the groups of friends I’d see studying in Hillman or dancing at a party. I wondered if transfer students were secretly excluded from the “best time of your life” thing everyone always talked about. But although that part of college didn’t go completely as planned for me, there are people that I’m extremely thankful for – the people that taught me that when it comes to friendship it’s about quality, not quantity. Although I won’t leave Pitt with 30 best friends, I’ll leave it with a handful of really, really special ones. The ones that came to Pitt from my previous college and celebrated my 18th, 19th, 20th, and 21st birthdays with me. The ones that walked me to Phipps after I spent the day crying in their laps, because the boy I thought I loved dumped me. The ones that I could call at 2 A.M. after sprinting through the streets of Oakland after escaping a terrible date and the ones that I can sit in Market Central with as seniors and not feel a single ounce of shame.
I can’t say that college was the time of my life, but I can say that it made me who I am today, and I’m proud of that person. I know who I am and I know that life is what you make it. I plan on taking the lessons I’ve learned with me in the next steps of my life: finding a job and being in the “Real World.” It’s not going to be the best time ever, all the time, but you do the best with what you have. At least, that’s what I tried to do and will be doing after I receive my diploma.
Photo Credit: All photos provided by Mandy Velez