Ladies (and gentlemen), we’ve all had that one person who we are just incredibly drawn to and we can’t seem to get rid of our feelings towards them. They make our hearts race even when we don’t want it to, and we would do just about anything to be with them if we got the chance. This could be anyone from a friend to a stranger or could even be a celebrity crush. Whether you’ve decided to express your feelings towards this person or keep them to yourself, you may have somehow discovered that they don’t feel the same way about you. Knowing this can make you feel like you’re not good enough or like you’ll never find that one person. It’s time to realize that being single and independent is extremely empowering and has many benefits that many people don’t realize exist.
1. Should I stay or should I go?
When in a relationship you are often faced with asking your partner if it’s okay with them or if you have their permission to go somewhere or do something with certain people (usually with people of the opposite sex). This causes you to sometimes make the decision to not go where you want to go or not hang out with people you want to hang out with because you don’t want to upset your partner or cause problems. Being single allows you to make those decisions independently and not have to “ask permission” from anyone. You then have more freedom to do the things that you enjoy and make you happy.
2. 0-100 real quick
When you have that specific guy/girl in mind you think that they’re the most amazing person. We then sometimes get blinded to the fact that this person actually can have qualities that you don’t want in a relationship. If this person doesn’t want to be with you relationship wise, then it allows for the opportunity to get to know them even on just a friend level. You then are able to see these qualities before deciding that they’re “the one.” Without knowing what they could be like in a relationship, things could go from 0-100 real quick and you could end up with someone that you didn’t expect.
3. Infidelity
Many times when you’re head over heels for someone you might become a little too attached. You start to go out of your way for someone who wouldn’t do anything even close to what you do for them. You might be avoiding intimacy and repressing your sexual desires towards someone else who is showing interest in you, because you’re set on another person, who really might be hooking up with someone else (or many other people). Being single and content in your lack of companionship allows you to have that relaxation of not dealing with infidelity that often leads to being hurt, while the other person doesn’t get hurt at all.
4. Finding yourself
What I have found is that being unattached to someone has really given me the space to find who I really am as a person (even though I’m still finding myself every day). I’ve been able to travel places and build connections with people that I never would have been able to if I was in a relationship with someone. College is definitely the time to take advantage of opportunities like studying abroad and visiting places before you choose your career, and before choosing a partner that could cause for these opportunities to be delayed.
Reach out to that person; the one who makes your heart race and you can’t stop thinking about. Tell them exactly how you feel so there are no gray areas. Even if they don’t feel the same way about you, you don’t have to completely ignore them but do not make them a priority in your relationship/everyday life. Prince Charming will come eventually but until then use that conformation to your advantage and grow from it. Find yourself, take chances, make mistakes, live your independent life, and ultimately find happiness in everything you do. Rejection is a beautiful thing so if he’s really just not that into you, then so what?