Recently, I retreated to my corner, my comfort zone. I avoided the possibility of a relationship in college for fear of the outcome. The confusion that accompanied such a decision sent me reeling, looking towards the two most important women in my life: my mom and my best friend. I found it interesting, the different perspectives they held towards relationships in college. A part of me wondered whether their age or their experience played a part in their response. Needless to say, the advice they gave me was helpful, and I wanted to share this with the hope that it could help others, too.
My best friend is young. She’s a freshman in college, just 18 years old. Yet she’s shared experiences that she feels have given her a fresh outlook on love, especially at our young age. She believes that we will only have one love of our life; however, we will fall in love many times, and we shouldn’t be scared of that. We shouldn’t be scared to feel vulnerable with someone, to let ourselves pursue something, because each love will teach us a beautiful lesson. You should have that love that is young and naive. The love that doesn’t work out but makes you feel alive in the moment. “Because all these loves harbor a beauty that teaches you lessons along the way.”
My mom has been married to my father for almost 20 years. When she reflects on her years in college, she remembers them fondly. College is fun. Relationships should be light-hearted and fun. If it’s too hard, or it’s too much work, then it might not be the right time or the right person. Time is too short to commit to something that is not worth it. She believes that people change the most between 18 to 25. “People should date but try not to get too involved especially if it’s turning out to be too much work.”
There’s a difference between these responses––that much is obvious. But there is a similarity, too. I think that we should focus on that. You are going to date multiple people, and you may even fall in love multiple times. But that’s okay. It’s okay to date and to have fun and to see people only to realize they aren’t the one for you. That is life. That is life in college, and maybe beyond. Most of all, it’s important to be yourself. Maybe even to be vulnerable. Just don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid to live as you wish. Make the most of it.