As we grow older, we realize things change. Life has a funny way of showing you who is meant to have a place in your life and who isn’t. We grow to understand that as things change, people sometimes do, too. Often, these changes are for the better, but sometimes they’re not. The ones that change for the worse are the ones we struggle to stay close to, the ones we begin to dread letting into our hearts and even in our heads. Cutting a person out that once meant (or still means) so much to you hurts more than anyone can ever put into words, but in the end it is worth it. This is a letter to the toxic person that I had to cut out.
First, I want to say that I am so not sorry for not being sorry.
My life is filled with so much peace now that you’re not in it. You rained on everything I said or did with your negativity. You would make me feel guilty for who I was and my choices. Now, when I think of you, I don’t give you that power. You do not impact me or my life anymore. I grew up and somehow you never did, and that is okay. It is okay that I cut you out.
After too long, I realized that I was never the problem; you were. You belittled me when I was so much bigger than you. You made me feel like I was never good enough, and those around you feel like they weren’t good enough, either. What is worst, is that after awhile we all started to believe you.You controlled my emotions. I wanted a healthy relationship with you so badly that I gave you every ounce of what I had while you gave me nothing. It makes me sick, thinking about the amount of control you had over my happiness. You never did anything to deserve that power in the first place.
The one thing I want to say is: thank you. Thank you for helping me realize I am so much better than trying way too hard for a relationship that will never be what I want it to be. Thank you for teaching me that my worth does not depend on someone else’s viewpoint of me. Thank you for teaching me how I don’t want to be treated by anyone. Thank you for helping me realize you were negatively impacting my life.
But, my biggest thank you goes to myself. I am so thankful I got sick of you and your toxic ways. I am even more thankful that I made the decision to not include you in my life anymore. With that being said, I do wish you the best in everything you do and accomplish. I just won’t be there to see it happen.