You just left for school, and are still thinking
about that special person you left behind.
You’re feeling apprehensive about leaving, but you know you have to. The decision to be in a long-distance relationship during college is a tough one. There are a bunch of questions that scramble through your head like, “Can I trust them? Can I trust myself? Am I going to lose that spark? Will they get bored?”
Many students each year go through this painstaking transition of being with their boyfriend/girlfriend every single day to seeing them only once or twice a month, sometimes not even that much. What goes through every mind is: How can I make this work and still be happy?
Ryan Carl, a freshman at Oswego State, was previously in a two and half year relationship with his ex-girlfriend. At first, he felt strong and determined stepping into the relationship. He believed he was proving everyone wrong who told him that it wouldn’t work out.
Carl states, “You need to understand that there are going to be limitations and if you can’t accept it, then you shouldn’t start one.”
When the one you love is five hours away, it’s hard to keep that butterfly feeling alive. With Carl in Latham, N.Y. and his girlfriend in Washington, N.Y., things didn’t turn out so well.
“I was pretty determined to make it work and as it went on, I ran out of things to do. There wasn’t enough common ground.”
Although some long distance relationships don’t work out, that is not the case for Claire Grana, 18.
“We started really talking about it this summer to know if we should really do this.” She and her boyfriend have been together for eight months and still going strong.
“Its tough”, she says, “because back home I knew all his friends, but I don’t know who he hangs out with at college.” Her boyfriend is currently residing in Buffalo, N.Y. attending Medaille College.
“It’s not that I don’t trust him, I just don’t trust everyone else,” says Grana. Is going the distance worth it? “I would say go for it…. Well it depends. It depends what kind of relationship it is. If you’re second guessing the relationship, you shouldn’t do it.”
Having a long term relationship turning into long distance may be difficult, but it is harder when you just start your relationship before the school year begins.
This was the case for Ryan Kennish, 17, of Rockland County, N.Y. Before the start of summer him and his girlfriend started to date and have been for about 3 months.
“I didn’t want to regret not doing it because I finally found someone who I liked for who they were, instead of their looks,” says Kennish with a smile.
They had talked about it throughout the summer and even she was concerned about staying with him.
“She just ended a long term relationship and wasn’t really sure,” he says.
Kennish has a busy schedule this semester with homework, lacrosse, and classes. With everything on his plate, he still makes time to speak to her everyday. His advice for those who aren’t sure is, “You must stay faithful. It doesn’t matter if you see the person, it’s about the connection you have with them.”
Countless couples go through the process of leaving one another, especially during college. To make the decision to stay with the person you love will be difficult, simply because you don’t get to see them in person everyday.
However, spending time away makes you both stronger as an individual and a couple. There are two important factors in making a long distance work: patience and communication. At the end of the day you just have to ask yourself: Is it worth it?