Summer is here! A time of beaches, sun and, of course, fun. A lot goes on during the summer. You catch up with friends, you make new friends, some people even have jobs or internships. But summer is also a great time to make new connections of a more romantic nature. These relationships can be strictly for the summer or they can be long term, deepening on what both you and that someone decide on. Here are some tips to make this summer memorable and filled with romance!
Confidence is KeyNothing says “Come and get me” like killer confidence. But sometimes this is easier said than done. Confidence is not something that can be given or bought; it has to be found and nurtured. Every morning look at yourself in the mirror and say “I am beautiful. I am strong. I can do anything”. Corny, maybe. Self-empowering, definitely. Confidence doesn’t always come from looks. It can come from a talent, like cooking or drawing. It can come from something that makes you happy, like volunteering and yes it can come from the way you look. Everyone is beautiful and everyone has something they are good at. Confidence will make you shine from the inside out and it is so appealing to that cute boy standing across the room. You may not be ready to go up and ask someone out, you may not even be ready to go up to someone at all, but that’s OK! Just be open and be you; that’s all anyone can ask.
The Window of OpportunityThis one is also somewhat tricky, but something that is good to pick up on. There are times when you meet someone and you love them for who they are, but for some reason you don’t see it going further than meeting up for smoothies as good friends. THAT IS OK! Not every guy you meet with a killer personality is going to be someone you are interested in dating or even just hooking up with. But this being said, next time someone asks to go for a walk on the beach during the beach party you and your friends set up, maybe take him/her up on it. It’s OK to be apprehensive; it’s perfectly natural. You’re jumping into something new, something unknown, and we as humans have an aversion to anything in which we cannot see the end result. This makes us skeptical, but maybe that connection just needs time to grow. Think about it. Are you worried because you really don’t like him, or are you afraid because you are setting standards that can’t be met? Do you really see this going nowhere, or are you just worried that you may get hurt? Before you write that awesome guy off think about yourself. You need to be comfortable with YOU before you are comfortable with anyone else.
Dress for SuccessAn important tidbit that can easily be overlooked. Let’s say for example the cute waiter who was serving you and your friends lunch yesterday slipped you his number with the check and you’ve decided to meet up with him tonight for a stroll down the boardwalk. You go through you closet and can’t find anything to wear and now time is running out. First of all, take a deep breath and relax. It’s gonna be OK. Second of all and this goes back to the confidence tip, pick something that you are comfortable in and says something about who you are. If you love that white eyelet dress and those coral wedges, go for it! More comfortable in faded jeans and a band tee, rock it with some cool shades and a killer hat! On a “first date” you want to be you, and you want to be comfortable. Sometimes the awkwardness between two people is uncomfortable enough. You don’t want to be walking around in 5inch heals when you are used to flats as well. It will just make for a bad mix. Not only this, but your style says a lot about who you are as a person. It says if you are laid back or fashionable, sporty or edgy, like florals or plaids! It says who you are, and what you wear is the first impression someone will get of you; make sure you make it memorable!
Be Flirty!OK so now you’re on your date, things are going well and you two are really connecting. It’s time to lay down some signals that you are really into this guy. Subtle things like smiling and holding eye contact for a little longer than seems like normal and then bashfully looking away is a sure sign you are digging him. Playfully pushing or gently smacking his shoulder is a great way to break the “touch barrier” without getting to handsy on the first date. Laugh with him and crack a joke every now and then, he’ll like that you have a sense of humor and that you are relaxed enough to have a good time. Flirting is not natural to some people and to others it’s like breathing; it just happens. Everyone has a different flirting style, some people are very subtle and shy, and some people are very open and direct with their intentions. There is NO wrong way to flirt. Just show him you are having a good time with him and that you are enjoying his company. I repeat, just be you, you want him to like the person you are, not the person you are trying to be.
To Kiss or Not to Kiss?This is another tricky aspect of the whole summer fling thing. You can play it fast and loose and just go in for the kill on the first date, or you can take the time and build up to it. Once again, no wrong answer. The only thing to consider in this case is the message you send. Kissing when first meeting sometimes shows you partner that you like to move somewhat fast and you are a physical person. Waiting a while can imply shyness and more contemplation. This is not to say that either way there is not an emotional or mental connection, some people are just more comfortable with physical affection than others. So if you are ready to pucker up, there are some signs that you can send to show him that the time is right. Look between his eyes and lips a few times when you two are talking or just sitting around. Chapstick and breath mints are a nice accompaniment as well. Soft kissable lips are irresistible and he won’t be able to look away. You can lean in a little and see what his reaction is. If he leans in as well, chances are he is as ready as you are. If he doesn’t move, he is probably still contemplating if it is what he wants, and maybe right now isn’t the best time. And if he leans away, now is definitely not the right time, and he isn’t ready for this type of affection. Never fear though, you can always try later or another time. Don’t be discouraged if this happens, the right time and the right guy will come!
Should I follow up…If you had a great time, chances are you have his number or already planning to see him again this summer. If things were good, but there was no spark yet, now is time to decide whether or not you want to continue seeing him. Remember that a date is not a marriage proposal, so even if you say yes to a second or even third date and realize that things are not working out, you are still allowed to change your mind. The only thing is to make sure you don’t lead him on and this can get complicated. You want to show you are interested while still maintaining boundaries, so that you can decide where you want this to go. If he is pushing the boundaries, you have to decide if you want to jump and see where it is going to go or if you just don’t think you want to see him anymore. Both are viable options and both happen all the time. If you decide on option two, then you have to decide if you want to continue contact at all. If you really enjoy his company, why break off a potentially awesome friendship? If you don’t though, and this goes for people who did not enjoy their date from the beginning, you are going to have to find a way to tell him of your disinterest and then cut him off. This can be difficult if you have to see this person every day, but you have to focus on you. Don’t let the fear of an awkward situation keep you involved with something you are uncomfortable with, it’s not fair to you and it’s really not fair to him.
The summer is time for fun, don’t worry if you can’t find a fling or something more serious during this time, that happens more time than not. Also, because the summer is a time for fun, don’t get so hung up on this aspect of it. There are so many other awesome things you can do this summer. Learn a new language, take a class, volunteer at the animal shelter, get a job…the list is endless, and they all involve you! Romance in the summer is secondary to all of the things that you can do solo, so don’t make it your top priority. Summer is a great time to reinvent yourself and take a well deserved break from all the stresses school offers. So go out and have a super terrific, amazingly awesome summer!
Keep cool, see you next year and good luck.