Between our laptops and smart phones we are constantly being tweeted, poked and updated by friends with the latest news. With our recent Presidential election now over, your feeds will slowly stray from political chatter and return to the usual entertainment gossip, witty complaints about textbook prices, and of course the latest musings of the broken/mending/full hearts all over the campus.
The role that social media plays in our wall-to-wall posts can become useful when we use it in our face-to-face conversations. I can’t guarantee your relationship problems can be discussed in 140 characters or less, nor can I promise that your ex won’t unfriend you and block you from his field of view, but here are a few ways to copy social media terminologies and paste them into your love life.
Twitter and Dating
Relationship patterns…are yours #trending?
· Does it seem like you’re running into the same problems in relationships? (#IsitMe?) Too often we find ourselves not only reverting back to the same or same type of partners, but also the same behaviors. Take time to think about some of the problems you’ve run into with relationships past and present. You might find that you’re making the same mistakes, falling for the same types of guys, or reverting back to exes. You can still retweet your values, but don’t be afraid to try new things.
Who and what can you +follow?
· Just like any kind of media outlet, social circles can push a lot of negative and false information. Be wary of what you hear and try to distinguish what is rumor and what is fact. Plain and simple: not everyone can be trusted and the rumor mill is always churning out negativity. Double check your sources before you make hasty judgments. Rumors about his previous relationships could be as fabricated as the latest “celebrity death”.
Are you @mentioning him a little too much?
· This bit is more geared towards benefitting your friendships. Like I’ve mentioned in previous Love, Etc. articles, your girl friends can be a staple in helping you evaluate your choices in the dating world, but you don’t want to exploit them! Talking about the same guy too much will bore your friends and make them more likely to shut you out once “you-know-who” comes up in conversation. Spare your BFFs (and yourself!) the pain of complaining about why he didn’t wave to you in the library café…again.
Facebook and Dating
Have you untagged yourself from past relationships?
· Maybe you took down the photos of you and your ex at last year’s Pumpkin Fest, but are you still talking about him all the time? Do you still associate yourself with things specific to that relationship? If you are, you might be closing yourself off to new people and opportunities. Do the same thing you do when your friend catches your bad side in a picture and untag yourself. Just like that eyes half-closed face your friend caught on camera, baggage can look pretty unattractive. Close the tab you shared with your ex and open up a new one for yourself. (I can guarantee that you’re a lot more interesting than a relationship that didn’t last.)
What’s your status?
· How you present yourself outside of a news feed is vital in the dating world. College relationships take a lot of ups and downs and sometimes we make those challenging times (and our reactions to them) a little too public. Instead of posting sad lyrics and showing up to class post weep-sesh, put yourself out there in a positive light. You never know who is falling in love with your laugh or your status update about last night’s episode of the Walking Dead.
Is it complicated or…?
· With any budding friendship or potential relationship, it’s hard to distinguish this right time to go from “single” to “in a relationship.” Discretion is key while dating a new person. Commitment is intimidating for many guys and girls alike, especially in a college setting. Though it may become frustrating to hold back from publicly displaying your commitment, doing so will give both parties a chance to figure out what they want and need.
Do you “like” him too much?
· A guy will love to see you take interest in his interests, but be sure to draw some boundaries. While it’s important to make a great impression on a guy, there’s a thin line between actively pursuing and actively creeping. The best thing to do is keep things light. If you “like” that he plays broomball, stopping by a game or two of his will show that you care but if you’re always at his games it might become overbearing. Be sure to look out for mutual interests that will link you two together.
Keep in mind that social media gives us the safety of hiding behind a screen and a flattering profile picture. In real life, communicating your feelings to someone face to face won’t happen in one click.