Being confident is something that many people struggle with on a daily basis. The level of confidence that’s best for you depends on who you are and your comfort levels. This week asked our Real College Guy what he thinks of confidence and what kind makes you stand out the most. Read on to see what he told us.
I decided to interpret that as: Would you like a girl who is really confident or more reserved?
Short Answer: Really Confident.
Not necessarily for the reasons you think. Yes, confidence can be sexy, but on it’s own it’s not all that powerful a tool – I imagine it’s similar to the ability to tie a cherry stem with your tongue or talk dirty (both very helpful later WINK WINK WINK WINK WINK WINK WINK WINK WINK WINK OH MY GOSH KISSING?!?!). Confidence is almost always cited as an attractive quality not just because confidence itself is a turn-on, but because it makes so many other levels of attraction possible.
And lets be clear here. Being confident doesn’t mean being an extrovert, willing to do anything and talk to anyone, masterfully gliding through the soiree like she/he owns the house. Confidence is standing up for who you are. If you’re a quiet person who would just like to quietly sip a martini in the corner of this grand soiree while you talk to one close friend, then confidence means being unashamed of that and having a hella’ good time with your martini and Frank (whom you’ve known for YEARS). Confidence is both a willingness to speak your mind and an ability to hold in your own opinions when you know your thoughts, though secure inside, would only cause stir for others.
And while confidence is, by itself, fairly attractive, what’s far more attractive is managing to find someone you can connect with on a deep, personal level. Without self-assuredness, you might meet your true love and let them walk away without ever knowing what’s going on inside your mind. Unless you stand-up for who you are and what you want, Frank might walk away from the pier never knowing you wanted to kiss him (though you’ve known him for YEARS).
There’s nothing wrong with being reserved, but it’s also very hard to get to know someone who’s wary of speaking to you. No one takes offense to shyness, but it’s simply a matter of fact: people will understand and relate to you better if you are brave enough to open up and show them who you really are.
Just remember: Confidence is standing up for who you are. Anyone you date should be very into THAT person.
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