I am a born and raised California Central Valley girl. I hail from a town of about 69,000 residents give or take. It wasn’t until I began college here at the University of Oregon, that I truly started feeling gratitude for the town that raised me.
I always look forward to visiting home and being with my best friends. Whenever I head home for summer break, winter break, spring break (all the breaks really) I began to notice a change with the people my age back home. So many people were suddenly getting engaged, married, or announcing that they were expecting a baby. EXPECTING A BABY.
It wasn’t very long ago that I was in high school with these people and now here we are, 2014.
Disclaimer: The following few lines are Grade A sappy, so bare with me.
I have been dating the same boy for almost six and a half years now and I cherish him. He is dependable, bright and an Oregon duck. A pretty great package deal. Even though I have been dating one person for so long and see potential with them in terms of a future, I find the concept and state of mind of settling down this early in my life fairly daunting.
I’m about to turn 23 but personally feel as though I’m still 18. I have some lingering ideas left unexplored and some adventures that I have yet to cross off my checklist before I commit forever to someone.
If you yourself have also, noticed the staggering number of friends and those high school acquaintances that you now only awkwardly wave to at Target because you don’t know them that well anymore, are also getting married, then take a gander at the list below to appreciate and remember some of the perks of not being married young.
I’ve compiled this list through years of conversations with girls friends back home, college friends, sorority sisters and even some guy friends have weighed in with their opinions.
Here’s what other college undergrads like myself had to say about settling down in your wee 20’s presented in no particular order:
- You don’t owe explanations to anyone.
- Graduate from college. Sco ducks! Granted, millions of people have finished college while being engaged, married or with kids, but by being unattached you eliminate an abundance of commitments.
- Pay off student loans!
- Build and nurture your current relationships. This is the time to live with your five good friends in a town house, walking distance from college bars, restaurants, theatres, your sorority house, etc. (This is my actual living situation and it kind of rocks.)
- The more years of higher education for females equals a far lesser chance of divorce in the future.
- Do you want to travel to Amsterdam? London? Buenes Aires? Maybe Cape Town? You are free to do so and on a complete whim! Being married young doesn’t mean you definitely won’t travel, but chances are money will probably be spent on a down payment for a house or maybe furniture.
- You don’t have to worry about pleasing or being on your constant best behavior around new in-laws.
- You get to truly learn who you are. What are your strengths? Weaknesses? You can learn things entirely about your own identity without incorporating another person into the picture.
- You can date anyone and dip your toes in whatever experience you want.
- You don’t have a mortgage to pay every month.
- You can still greatly enjoy the person you’re in a relationship with less pressures and responsibilities that often apply to a marriage.
- You learn to depend solely on yourself.
- Research has proven that women who delay marriage, statistically earn a higher income. Two words for you: cha and ching.
- Soak up the alone time. Go spend money on a one-hour massage. Get in a long workout at the gym. Take a break and drop everything you’re doing to just go hangout on the beach all day and just be content doing things independently.
- This is the time to make a name for yourself. Find out what it is you really want to do with your life in terms of a career and then chase it down.
- Save money that you can later spend on whatever YOU see necessary.
- YOU CAN AFFORD TO BE A BIT SELFISH. You’re young and still getting into the swing of some things.
My friend Dylan, also a senior at the UO, recently told me that he really dislikes the fact that some people label married life in general as the end of excitement or exploration. He says that some people get married young because they just know and if they go for it then that’s great.
Dylan notes that he does not want to stop incorporating fun even after he gets married someday, but also acknowledges the great benefits of being young and unattached.
I wholeheartedly agree, Dylan.