As Dead Week and Finals are upon us, I think we can all agree that we are sick, and tired of hearing people say these things to us.
1. “Attendance points capped off a few weeks ago.”
Ah, yes. Nothing hurts the soul more than realizing you could have been sleeping in for the past month rather than coming to class and sitting through yet another pointless lecture.
2. “But, you’re almost done? It’s fine.”
This is a classic line that I’m sure you’ve heard more than a few times from that random family member who thinks all you do is hang out with your friends. Don’t post an encouraging quote on my Facebook wall, Helen. You don’t know what I’ve been through.
3. “You should probably get more sleep.”
I haven’t seen my beautiful bed in 36 hours… You don’t really think that I’m purposefully avoiding that dream cloud of happiness, do you?
4. “You have to move out 24 hours after your last final.”
SERIOUSLY, OSU? Of all the mean things you could possibly do to us… You might as well say: mop up the floors with your tears kids, and get out. (and don’t forget to check out with your RA.)
5. “I forgot to mention, I made the test cumulative.”
Yes, please. Include a section of 50 T/F questions from that thing we learned back in January. :)))
6. “Well, why did you commit to so much?”
The commitment comment usually comes from that friend who thinks that a mediocre GPA and no extracurricular will get them a job after college. It’s a scary world out there.
7. “All of that coffee isn’t good for you.”
Neither is judging my lifestyle choices, YET HERE WE ARE.
8. “Only ___ more years until you graduate.”
This phrase is especially awful for freshman. Let this be a constant reminder that finals will happen at least 6 more times after your first year. (HA.)
9. “You can’t take off for Dead Week.”
Yes, you’re right. My number one priority IS the customer. Silly, me! I forgot that my education comes second.
10. “Do you wanna hang out?”
NO. (How dare you ask me that.)
If only more people understood. Hang in there, Cowboys.