Following on from part 1, we explore the sexperiences of our willing sample of UoN students…
Student #8
Bi-curious female, ‘seeing someone’.
Number of past sexual partners: 12.
Biggest turn on: Height, facial hair and bone dry sarcasm.
Biggest turn off: Unnecessarily muscly men and arrogance.
First time story: He had a chode. I think that says it all.
Most embarrassing sexual experience: Was choked out of the blue mid-sex. Unsurprisingly, sex is less fun your partner makes an attempt on your life.
How was your experience with the same sex? It was great, unexpected but great.
A sex confession of your choosing: Was asked to tie a guy up mid-sex and all I had handy was the tie from a leopard print dressing gown. Keeping it classy always.
One word to describe your sex life: Varied.
Student #9
Homosexual male, in a relationship.
Number of past sexual partners: Something around 7.
Biggest turn on: Someone who knows what they’re doing.
Biggest turn off: Vagina.
First time story: They couldn’t take the D. They never can on their first times.
Most embarrassing sexual experience: We were doing the deed and suddenly realised that the condom was not on anymore and was nowhere to be seen. It had gone up inside him and had to be retrieved.
Have you ever/would you ever consider experimenting with the opposite sex? I mean, boobies are fascinating but anything with the vagina, no no no. Breasts are safe and dry, vaginas, not so much.
A sex confession of your choosing: Got frisky in a park and someone’s family came along.
One word to describe your sex life: Send nudes.
Student #10
Heterosexual female, in a relationship.
Number of past sexual partners: 9
Biggest turn on: Kindness *burst into cackling*. I don’t know, being drunk? I hope you’re not writing all of this down. I haven’t really thought about it, maybe, when he cooks me dinner? That’s quite nice. Because I’m a big fat fatty and I love to eat.
Biggest turn off: When he’s too drunk. Drunken sloppiness, you know how it is.
First time story: I was 14, just been to a house party, got really f*cked up, had sex with a boy that I fancied. It didn’t go in all the way. Had sex with another boy I fancied 20 minutes later and then I didn’t have sex again for two years. And that’s the story of how I lost my virginity to two men/became a legend. I made the impossible possible.
Most embarrassing sexual experience: When I was having sex with a guy and he fell asleep on me.
Have you ever/would you ever consider experimenting with the same sex? Maybe if I was feeling super randy, was on holiday and had a really good tan.
A sex confession of your choosing: This one time, I tried a 69 and I was laughing so much, I choked on my spit. I had real trouble getting the sexy back after that.
One word to describe your sex life: Sporadic.
Student #11
Heterosexual (but experimental) male, single.
Number of past sexual partners: 22
Biggest turn on: Bed hair and submissiveness.
Biggest turn off: No foreplay/no noise/conservative approaches
First time story: Deep in the throes of my GCSEs exams, a girl I’d met once contacted me saying she didn’t realise her best friend was a mutual friend between us. We spoke mindlessly for a while, arranged to meet for a post-exams coffee one Friday morning (atmosphere was hardly in place), then we wandered back to mine, and I lost my virginity to her after five hours of experimental foreplay having done virtually nothing before. She was wearing my signed leavers shirt.
Most embarrassing sexual experience: Once cramped up so badly after Ocean that I literally begged aloud for death. And once a girl began her period immediately following sex in a hotel room. Oh, got caught on a train once too.
How were your experiences with the same sex? Hazy. I once got with my gay best friend of twelve years walking home from Revs because he ‘imagined I’d be a bad kisser’, and the other was a dare, but I’ve never been squeamish about that sort of thing. No marked difference with closed eyes, and I’ve certainly kissed more poorly shaven women.
A sex confession of your choosing: Okay, well, I consider my administration of oral sex a skill bordering on a pastime, and I’m frankly upset that 50 Shades of Grey ever came to pass because I’m similarly deviant so I can only assume that henceforth every girl I sleep with will giggle patronisingly about me deriving it all from a terribly written fictional businessman. I also always make breakfast.
One word to describe your sex life: Theatrical
Student #12
Homosexual female, single/dating.
Number of past sexual partners: Probably around 10.
Biggest turn on: Each girl I’m with has something about them but I can’t really think of a particular trait that turns me on. Potentially confidence but not cocky. I’m finding it hard to think of turn ons rather than just things I find attractive.
Biggest turn off: Bad teeth and/or thin lips. Personality wise, ignorance and attention seeking, mainly.
First time story: My first time with a guy, I went back to his with the intention of sleeping with him (he wasn’t a boyfriend or anything though). He was pretty sweet at the time. We had sex, pretty awful and not long at all (thank god!) and went home. My first time with a girl, it’s hard to say because the first girl I was with I wouldn’t actually say we slept together so the first time I really count was with my first official girlfriend. It was at her place, wasn’t really planned but I mean, we obviously both had been thinking about it, and yeah, felt right, all went really well, was pretty cute and romantic and that. It was her first time sleeping with a girl too, so it was special for both of us.
Most embarrassing sexual experience: To be fair, I don’t have many good stories, I haven’t had that much embarrassment in sex… First kiss with the girlfriend I just spoke about, she kissed me and I went to kiss her again and she told me to calm down. That was pretty embarrassing. Also, same girl again got her period on me once when we were messing around and to be fair, that was more embarrassing for her, but not really because we’d been together a long time.
How were your experiences with the opposite sex? Not wonderful to say the least. I’ve been with several guys and have ‘experimented’ with guys since being out. It’s just not for me. I’m not sure I’ve actually ever enjoyed sex with a guy. I always say that if I’m attracted to a guy, I wouldn’t not get with him because he’s male. But the actual sex part, I really don’t like.
A sex confession of your choosing: I’ve never had an orgasm. Ever.
One word to describe your sex life: Magical.
Student #13
Heterosexual male, single.
Number of past sexual partners: 10
Biggest turn on: Titties.
Biggest turn off: Um, I just can’t really tell you what turns my light off. I don’t know, man.
First time story: I was about 17 at the time, girlfriend back home. Happened whilst we were watching Jeremy Kyle.
Most embarrassing sexual experience: Brought a girl back from Crisis last year, started doing the old biz. Mutual agreement that we wanted to switch up the position so I pulled out and there was blood everywhere. She left and we never spoke again.
Have you ever/would you ever consider experimenting with the same sex? No.
A sex confession of your choosing: Got frisky on a canal bank. There were mallards about.
One word to describe your sex life: Unpredictable.
Student #14
Heterosexual male, single.
Number of past sexual partners: 4
Biggest turn on: Assertiveness, or confidence, whatever you want to call it.
Biggest turn off: During sex, background noise. In general, I suppose, just seeing them being unpleasant in anyway.
First time story: Random girl I met at a club. We went back to mine, she was very insistent that she slept in my bed. For a while, I was insistent that she got out of it so I could sleep in my bed. Then she stole my clothes.
Most embarrassing sexual experience: Mistaking a wasabi sachet for a condom.
Have you ever/would you ever consider experimenting with the same sex? No, not really.
A sex confession of your choosing: After reading too much on the internet, I’m convinced that when I do the Cowgirl position, my dick will be broken. It’s a chronic fear. Apparently it happens twice as much in that position, food for thought.
One word to describe your sex life: Tragedy + time = comedy.
If I learnt anything from conducting this little study, it was that the things you get up to between the sheets are not a full reflection of who you are and you shouldn’t be ashamed of your sexual past. Whilst certain things may seem a little embarrassing, as long as you don’t regret them or have learnt from previous mistakes, they are for no one to judge. After all, we all have our little kinks.
Edited by Sam Carey