When I was in high school, I had a vision of what college was going to be like. I knew it was going to be hard, but I did well in high school, so I didn’t think it was going to be that different. I came into Notre Dame knowing that my classes were going to be challenging. I was expecting to be surprised by my first couple of tests because that’s what everyone told me. I was told that getting a B was actually really good. I had an open mind and I thought I was ready.
Little did I know, nothing can prepare you for the transition into college. Everything is so new. I’m living in a new place, my workload is a lot heavier, and I totally have to change my study habits. The first couple of exams I kind of brushed under the rug as not a big deal because they were part of the college adjustment, but something just wasn’t feeling right. I wasn’t happy with my performance. But looking back, I wasn’t unhappy enough to do anything about it. I had the “Oh, it’ll get better” mentality. When things simply weren’t getting better, I had a breakdown.
This breakdown taught me a lot of things. The first is that there is nothing a phone call home to mom can’t fix. The second thing that my breakdown taught me was that I am in charge of my own happiness. I cannot let other people dictate my happiness because then happiness will be a rare occurrence. Commit to being happy, and happiness will come. Take time to find pleasure in the little things in life and remember to let go.
Notre Dame has offered me so many opportunities. So many amazing, driven, talented, and intelligent young people have surrounded me since day one. Some days, when I’m struggling with my schoolwork, I wonder if I’m really in the right place. Is Notre Dame where I’m supposed to be? Was it a mistake that I got in?
A good friend told me that everyone got into ND for a reason. Everyone who got in, got in because they belong here. My friend continued by saying that the only reason I don’t feel like I belong here is because I haven’t found my purpose yet, and that’s okay!
I still have a lot of time and nothing is set in stone. I need to let go and let things happen on their own. What is meant to be will be. I will enjoy my time here more if I experience new things and make lifelong friendships while I wait for my purpose to be revealed to me. Notre Dame is full of possibilities and I will miss out if everything is planned from day one.
I’m going to vow to let go and stop planning. I need to breathe the fresh air (before it gets too cold) and be myself. I have a feeling that November is going to be a good month and I’m going to make sure that I pull through with my personal goals. Remember to let go and enjoy your time here, because I’m told it’s over with the blink of an eye.