The Do's and Don'ts of Long Distance Relationships

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We all know someone, whether they are a roommate, a friend, or even ourselves, who is in a long distance college relationship. Although they can be tough at times, there are ways to make long distance relationships work. If you’re one of those girls who has found love outside of Boston, here’s a list we’ve put together of do’s and don’ts while in a long distance relationship.

What to do:

Be clear about your relationship. Define what being in a long distance relationship means to the both of you.  If one of you thinks it’s okay to see other people and the other person thinks you two are exclusive, issues will most definitely arise. Don’t be afraid to ask the other person what they are looking for, and expect, from your relationship together.

Respect your roommates. This means asking them if they’re comfortable with your boyfriend staying over and clarifying what the ground rules are for the room. Find a favorite spot in the city, go see a movie, or do other fun activities to keep out of the room and give your roommate space.

Download Skype or Oovoo. Although you can’t physically be together these free programs allow you to see each other. The download process is quick and simple and it beats a regular phone call. This way you can show him your outfits on Friday nights and can say goodnight face-to-face like you would if you were together. Plan a time that’s convenient for both of you.

Plan trips ahead of time. If you and your long distance boyfriend are lucky enough to make visits, plan them in advance. This way you can give your roommates notice and can decide on a travel method. Sites like Megabus, BoltBus, and Peter Pan Bus offer affordable alternatives to driving.

…But be spontaneous too. Sometimes long distance relationships can become calculated. All of the planning can make things a little boring. So get the okay from your boyfriend’s roommate to visit a day early without your guy knowing, or send him a package of his favorite candies to his school address out of the blue.

What to avoid:

Don’t fight over text message. Fighting over text message is never successful. Things come across different via text and you’re likely to misunderstand each other. Wait until you can Skype or Oovoo so you can see each other while discussing what’s going on.

Don’t dwell too much on missing each other. Although it’s nice to know your boyfriend misses you and you want to let him know you miss him too, don’t focus on it too much. Saying how much you miss each other only makes it worse. Enjoy your time with friends at school and remember that you both have lives outside of each other.

Don’t suffocate each other. You might think that because you’re not physically together it’s okay to be in constant communication. By constantly being in communication with your boyfriend, whether it be via text, video chat, or Facebook chat, you cut yourself off from the people who are physically around you. Try not to be talking to each other 24/7 in order to avoid having nothing to talk about. You won’t be able to ask him how his day was if you already know that his math test was hard, his dinner at the cafeteria was less than ideal, and he overslept for his 8 a.m. class.

Don’t be paranoid. This one goes for any relationship, but it’s especially important when you’re long distance. You both will be surrounded by new people at college, meaning you won’t know the girls who live in his dorm and he won’t know the guys who you hang out with. It’s crucial to trust each other otherwise you’ll worry over every little thing. Stop being paranoid. Just because he didn’t respond to your text message in less than five minutes doesn’t mean he’s dating someone else.

Don’t take the time you have together for granted. Make the most of the time you two have together. So if there’s an unresolved issue, get it cleared up at the beginning of the visit. Fill the time you have together with things you can do together, but both enjoy. Have your alone time, but go out with each other’s friends too so you all can get to know each other.

Photos taken from istock and photobucket.

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