A personal reflection on Miami University Sorority Recruitment…
For me, recruitment was simultaneously two of the easiest and hardest weekends of my life. It was easy enough to decide to rush, particularly when I arrived at Miami in August. I met fellow freshmen who were planning on rushing, too, and it gave us something to talk about and bond over. My decision was reinforced when I met sorority women in my classes first semester. I fell in love with the idea of joining a group of women who would immediately and always accept me as a friend and a sister. I couldn’t wait to find my niche, to get involved, to meet new people, and to experience something that I had never experienced before.
Because I’d had all semester to think about and talk about recruitment, it was surreal to be lining up outside of my first open house event on Friday, January 18th. I was the first person in my entire family to involve myself in Greek life, and the rumors that I’d heard from other freshmen didn’t really ease any of my anxieties. Those moments between lining up with the other PNMs in my GLG group and being ushered inside the multi-purpose room were some of the most nerve-wracking of my life. I felt as though my college career depended upon the next twenty-four hours of my life, and they were starting now.
Even worse than waiting in those lines all Friday evening and Saturday was waiting to receive my schedule for first round, which was Sunday, January 20th. I had picked out the perfect outfit weeks in advance, but that didn’t mean that I was going to be able to wear it to all of the sororities that I’d liked the previous round. I received my tiny slip of paper that told me which sororities had invited me back, and I had a brief heart attack. I couldn’t believe it; none of my favorites had wanted to get a chance to know me better. This was one of the worst forms of rejection that I had ever felt. Of course, there had been times in my life when I hadn’t made the cut, but that had been because I couldn’t run fast enough, or shoot enough free throws, or answer enough questions right on the SAT. Now, I was being rejected based solely upon my personality. It stung.
I decided to continue with recruitment anyway, mostly because I had been told to “trust the process” so many times it seemed like not doing so would lead to something terrible. I decided to look at my situation positively: sure, I wasn’t being considered by my original favorites anymore, but maybe that was a good thing. It would be easier to make decisions in the end. I left every party that day with a bright and cheerful outlook on rush, because the elimination of my top few allowed me to get to know new girls and new sororities that I started to be able to see myself joining.
The first part of the next week was awful. Even though we didn’t have classes on Monday, I still found myself behind on homework on Tuesday and Wednesday, primarily because I couldn’t think of anything else but recruitment. What had I said to the girls during open house that had decided my fate? Had I made those same mistakes during first round? I felt self-conscious and anxious. Thursday, of course, was the worst day, because I knew that I would find out which sororities were still interested in me after first round. Waiting in McGuffey to receive my schedule for Thursday and Friday evenings was even worse than waiting in the hallway before my first open house party.
I took one look at my new list and felt the same disappointment again. The sororities I’d liked the best from first round had eliminated me. I didn’t know what to think. It was so odd to me that I had not been invited back to sororities where I had felt the most at home. I didn’t understand how I could have possibly been so mistaken. Despite these feelings, though, I decided to continue my journey. My situation wasn’t ideal, but I wasn’t going to give up on something I’d spent so much time thinking and worrying about.
I finished second round with a clear idea of where I wanted to be. I felt as though everyone who had told me to “trust the process” was certainly justified: even though I hadn’t been asked back to my favorite sororities for first or second round, I was invited back to my newest favorite for preference night. I was so excited to think that I had finally found my niche at Miami, and the group of girls that I would soon call my sisters. Ranking that night was the easiest decision of the entire recruitment process, and I was beyond excited for Bid Day the following afternoon.
An advisor at MacMillan who was helping my fellow PNMs rank told me that if I didn’t receive a bid, I would be informed by nine or ten the following morning. I nervously set my alarm for eight o’clock, figuring that if my GLGs didn’t call or text me by ten-thirty, I had been accepted to join a sorority where I would spend the remainder of my college career. By noon, I felt confident enough to tell a couple of my friends that I was going to Millett Hall to receive a bid from my favorite sorority. I was beyond excited, and like good friends, they were excited, too.
Because I felt so confident about receiving a bid that afternoon, I was beyond devastated when my GLG sent me a text message at about one o’clock that told me that she needed to “talk to me about recruitment.” I knew exactly what she meant—I hadn’t received a bid. My GLGs arrived at my residence hall and delivered the news that I had been so happy to think that I had avoided. It was so strange to me that after all of the effort, anxiety, and tears I had put into rushing, it had all come to nothing. I felt so isolated from all of my other friends, who were getting ready to go to Millett, open their bids, and join their new sororities.
Recruitment, for me, was definitely not one of the best experiences of my life. It’s easy to assume that if I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have done it in the first place, but I’m not so sure. I met so many great girls just by standing in line with them outside parties, and I learned so much about Miami and its students by talking with older girls that I might never have met if I hadn’t gone through recruitment. Honestly, I don’t think that my life would be that different from how it is now if I had joined a sorority: I’m the same person, with the same interests, and the same friends and family. So one of the best things that came out of recruitment, for me, wasn’t finding a new group of girls that I could share new experiences with; it was finding out how supportive, kind, and generous the friends and family I already had could be, and that I would always have them there to guide and help me through the new experiences and challenges that I would face throughout the rest of my life. And isn’t what joining a sorority is supposed to be about, anyway?