Despite the current culture of non-committal dating, hook-ups and general spurning of settling down young, I am one of a few people at the University of Miami who is engaged (and will be married November 27th! AH!). While my engagement is a bit different than others – he is in the Navy and stationed in Italy – the motivation behind it is the same: we’re in love and that’s all there is to it.
Most people, while happy for me, were skeptical. After getting engaged, I got many questions like “Are you sure? You’re so young. How can you tell you want him forever when you’re only 21?” And my answer to all of them was “Yes I’m sure.” I can’t explain how I know, it’s a feeling I get down to my very core. He puts me first, challenges me, treats me better than I deserve and knows all my faults and loves me anyway. He’s my family; it’s as simple as that.
I know a lot people who are in loving relationships who say they don’t feel the need to get engaged any time soon, and I totally understand. It’s certainly not for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that I should feel the same. I don’t consider our engagement as “settling down,” we’re just promising to go through the rest of our lives together. I tried dating around and playing the field, but it wasn’t for me. I met different kinds of people and realized what I could and could not put up with in a partner, so when I met my person, I knew it almost instantly.
Being engaged at UM is an odd experience. Almost every social event involves partying, clubbing and hooking up, so it can be hard to go out with my single friends. I prefer to stay in with close friends so that there’s no pressure and no one to shoot down. Generally, Miami students are focused on being young and having a blast rather than thinking about getting engaged. However, I find that I can be young and have fun with my fiancé. Even if he’s not with me when I go out, he knows that I am 100 percent committed to him and have no desire to be with anyone else. Nothing is worth giving up what we have.
Sometimes when I tell people I’m engaged, they can’t hide the surprise and confusion on their faces. It doesn’t bother me, I felt the same way when I was a freshman and met a senior who was engaged. Now I AM that senior, and I know that people can’t help themselves from being confused. I get it, it’s weird! I’m super young and have a lot of life left to grow and mature, but I plan to do that with my best friend by my side. Getting engaged is such a personal decision, and no one else’s opinion matters but mine and my fiancé’s.
Image credit: photos courtesy of Tara Brown