One thing that I’ve always heard from adults that I’ve encountered, is that high school and college are the best years of your life. It’s where you experiment, find yourself, and (much to my dismay) where you will find the love of your life.
When I was younger I ate this up. As I got a little older I took it with a grain of salt.
Now as a 20 year old college student, I realize that not all of this may be true, at least for me, and I’m okay with it! If you’re in the same boat, you should be too, and here’s why.
At 20, I am still on the road to figuring out who I am as a person, but we all are. It’s a lifelong journey that may never truly end because we’re always changing and growing. However, I am not okay with the pressure that I receive from others to be in a relationship, fall in love, and get married… like yesterday. Maybe I’m crazy, but I am okay with not being in a relationship, let alone engaged, as a junior in college.
Let me start off by saying I have dated in the past, so it’s not like I am bitterly saying that I’m okay with being single at this point in my life because I’ve never had a boyfriend. I have learned a lot about myself since I started college, including what’s important to me right now.
Here’s the thing. I’m a bit of a workaholic. I love fully immersing myself into my work, my schooling, and my interests. I like having time for my friends and not feeling obligated to devote all of my time to someone other than myself. After reading that last sentence, I guess you can also say I’m selfish. It’s okay though. If you relate to what I’ve just written and think it applies to you, remember that it is okay.
I believe that until I am at a point where I’ve accomplished my dream and am living my dream, that I am not going to let a relationship hold me back. I plan to hustle hard each day and if I meet someone who can keep up, great. If I don’t, I’ll keep doing my thing until I find someone who can. That being said, I also don’t want someone to give up their dream in order for me to live out mine and vice-versa.
I know that I’m not missing out on anything, even though I know plenty of people the same age as me that are in long-term relationships, engaged, or even married. Perhaps that’s their dream, but I know for a fact it’s not mine. And don’t feel bad if it’s not yours either. I refuse to let outsiders tell me how I “should” be living and instead I am marching to my own beat. Remember, there isn’t a clock on marriage. You don’t have to get married at all if you don’t want to.
If you’re single in college, just keep on doing you. Work hard, laugh hard, sip some coffee in a cafe alone with a smile on your face. This is your only life, so don’t spend it bummed out because you’re not with someone. As cliche as it sounds, live your life for you.