As young adults we’re told by the media, our friends, sometimes even our parents that losing your virginity should be this magical moment of love and perfection ending in the perfect synchronized orgasm with your partner. Sorry to say but this, like unicorns, is a beautiful idea, but sadly a lie.
But before I go into the reality of Swiping the V, lets just get this out in the open: there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. It’s not something to be embarrassed about. You are not alone. Lots of girls AND guys come to college still pure. Whatever the reason may be, you haven’t found that one right person yet, you’re just not ready or if you believe sex is something to do to make life (AKA children) OWN THAT. There are too many stories of both guys and girls who regret not waiting; who wished they had put more thought into sex before doing the dirty for the first time. Everyone is different, this is one of those situations where ‘you do you’ and make the decision based on how you feel.
But what about when you finally decide your ready? Be prepared. And no, I’m not talking about birth control (though that should be a top priority). Be prepared for something messy, slightly painful and not completely satisfying. Of course, this depends on a number of things, his size, your size, how skilled your partner is, how ready you are, if you’re nervous/scared.
What you need to remember is communication is key. If your partner knows its your first time, they’ll take it slow and easy. And if they don’t take that into consideration, walk away. Even if this is just a one-night stand, both people need to respect each other.
Advice number two: foreplay is your best friend. The readier you are, the easy it’s going to be to get it in and enjoy it. Whatever you’re comfortable with, hands, mouth, whatever your ‘thing’ is that gets you going, do it, this heightens your possibility of getting the Big O.
The last part is, its fine if it gets messy. Its normal and natural. Wipe it up and move forward.
No matter who you’re completing this right of passage with, a long time partner, a friend (with whom you share benefits) or a one-night stand, the most important thing is respect and communication. Listen to yourself and follow your beliefs.
And remember, its okay to save your V.