You’re not dating, you’re not in a relationship, but you are sharing a bed. Or a futon, or a floor, or a rooftop, or a wherever. There are some things that it’s important to ask that person laying next to you, that you shouldn’t be paranoid or afraid to ask. It’s better to be upfront and sure about these things, than to leave yourself guessing and worrying. All the stress from those things can take away from the feeling of the moment.
Are you clean?
This should be asked before any bodily fluids are exchanged. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Sexually Transmitted Infections are no joke and very few can be completely fixed with medication. There is always the possibility that someone isn’t completely honest about this, and part of that could be because they simply don’t know that they’re infected. Which leads to Question Number Two.
When was the last time you were tested?
Those who are sexually active should be tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea after every new partner. Yes, every single one. Other testing that should be performed pretty routinely are HIV/AIDs, Herpes and a variety of others that Lasell’s Nursing Staff will happily explain. And if on campus help isn’t ideal, Planned Parenthood is everywhere and happily provides discounted services and accepts insurance. So make sure both partners have been at the very least tested for “the clam” and “the clap” after their last partner. Gotta protect that V and everything in between.
Are you sleeping with anyone else?
Not only is this important in terms of keeping clean, but some people do the monogamous hook-up thang. Yes, it sounds contradictory, but men and women alike have the right to know if a recurring rendezvous partner is sharing their bits with other people. It doesn’t matter who, but just be honest and upfront if it’s on the mind.
What works for you?
Sex is fun. It’s an adventure. It’s something to enjoy. Be vocal about what’s good and what’s not. Don’t be mean or aggressive about it, though, unless that’s the thing that works for both partners. But it’s okay to ask what works and what doesn’t. That kind of feedback will only make things that much better.
Where is this going?
Sometimes feelings pop up out of nowhere. It can’t be helped. If one person “catches” feelings like the common cold and are interested in more, ask the question. But don’t expect to be swept off like Cinderella. Every hook-up is different. Some end in relationships and some just fade away into the background as a prequel to the next partner. It’s okay to ask, just try to ask with low expectations. It’ll mean less disappointment in the long run.
Happy Hunting.