With the events of Halloweekend still fresh in our minds; cute, creative and revealing costumes still flood Instagram and Twitter. In my opinion, one of the best parts of Halloween is being able to dress up and go out and have fun. But one of the main problems with Halloween is the costumes and the reactions that arise from them. Men and women, specifically college students, have more of an opportunity to dress in a suggestive way on Halloween, which can lead to an increase in slut-shaming by their peers.
Slut- shaming is putting down a woman for being sexual, having multiple sex partners, acknowledging sexual feelings, and acting on sexual feelings. Although, its not purely a female problem, it is mainly and publicly directed to women that are being shamed. Slut- shaming derives from the age-old value that women are pure, untouched beings, unlike their male counterparts. Women are looked down on by other women and men for their sexual activities.
Slut-shaming has many different forms and starts young, in the most unexpected place. One form of slut- shaming is dress codes imposed upon students at school that are mainly directed towards female students. In grade school, if I wore a skirt or shorts that rose above my fingertips when my hands were by my side, I was told to get new clothes. If my tank top was less than a three finger width band, I have to change. I couldn’t wear yoga pants, anything showing cleavage, or any clothing that was too tight or too revealing. A quote from my middle school’s student handbook states “Any manner of dress that is disruptive to the educational process will not be tolerated.” What makes a piece of clothing disruptive to the educational process? And who can decide this? “Failure to adhere to these standards will result in immediate removal from class until the student is properly attired. Subsequent dress code violations will require further discipline,” this was found under the Personal Attire section of the student handbook. My middle school taught myself and my 10-12 year old peers that a girl’s attire mattered more than her education when it may or may not distract some of her peers.
Slut-shaming affects all women, no just young, impressionable girls. I was scrolling through my Facebook feed this morning and a few comments appeared. The first comment is from a male Facebook user and the second is from a female. Although, not directed at anyone specific,this is an example of slut-shaming by both genders. By pointing it out, these people are making a girl’s attire matter when it comes to measuring a person’s worth.
To end slut-shaming, we have to stop telling women and girls that sex is bad. As long as it isn’t hurting any parties involved, sex is great. It is a primal act that all of us literally would not be here without. “Slut,” “whore”, “stank”, “hoe”, “tramp”. All of these words need to vanish from our vocabularies. These words imply that sex is bad and that a woman she be put verbally down for her sexual thoughts, feelings, and activities.
If someone is calling you a slut, getting mad at them may not be the best route. My favorite course of action to to take the importance out of what they are saying.
Another option is to explain to the person what they are actually saying. Tell the person that when they call you a “slut” or “whore”, they are just saying you sex life or attitude towards sex decides your value and because they do not approve of your sexual preferences or activities, you are below them.
The Slut Walk, which originated in Toronto, Canada, is a march protesting against excusing or explaining rape by referring to any aspect of a woman’s appearance. They call for an end to rape culture as we know it. Most of the participants in these marches are young women, some dress in “slutty” attire. The walks started after Constable Michael Sanguinetti, a Toronto police officer, suggested that women “should avoid dressing like sluts” to prevent unwanted sexual attention. The walks continue to happen all around the world and are just another way women are banding together to end slut-shaming.
Although mostly focused towards women, men can be victims of slut-shaming too. The key isn’t to shame a person for their sexual activities regardless of their gender, but to stop judging people based on their sexual activities, preferences, and feelings. Sex is awesome, so let’s embrace it.