As I sit in Anschutz avoiding my finals, I was inspired by my surroundings to whip up a poem about finals, KU style.
(Anschutz Library: where dreams go to die.)
Twas the night before finals, and all through KU
Not a student was sleeping, because their essays were due.
The coffee was steaming and the stress levels doubled
Because we waited till last minute, and now we’re in trouble.
The freshmen and seniors all joined as one
Huddled in Anschutz, regretting their weekend of fun.
Dollar night was one thing, Thirsty Thursday another
But now it’s already Sunday, and your books remain in their plastic covers.
Popping adderall like candy, fighting off sleep
If only you’d have started this paper LAST week.
You stare at your cursor, blinking behind words with no meaning
You start to wonder if, just maybe, you SHOULD have done that assigned reading.
Your head is imploding, you can’t bs anymore
This paper needs 2,000 words, yet you’ve only written 4..
Finally, it’s morning, you have a test in an hour
Too bad for the guy next to you, ’cause you still haven’t showered.
The scantrons are given, the exams handed out
You glance at the first question, and you have NO idea what that graph is about.
The week’s finally over, your brain is set free
Don’t worry about those final scores, because luckily, Ds get degrees.
Not one eff left to give, not one more test to bullsh*t
It’s time to go get drunk and forget you ever learned it.