People, I’m tired.
I’m so tired of knocking one another down, even when we don’t do it consciously. I’m tired of constantly hearing words like “bitch” being maliciously thrown at women, by other women. I’m tired of constantly feeling the need to prove to my peers, my workforce, my friends, or just society in general that no, I’m not a “bitch,” I’m a human being. I am a person. I am someone who will not let myself be run over by others. I am a person who will make my voice and my opinion heard, even when it’s not a popular one.
I. am. not. a bitch. You are not a bitch. The only reason that being called a bitch has become so easy and automatic is because we, as women, are trained to accept that we are not to disrupt the current status quo, and if we do, that makes us a problem. That makes us a “bitch.” And I just do not accept that.
By doing this, we are normalizing our gender to be used as an insult. Being a woman is not an insult. Say it with me, “BEING A WOMAN. IS NOT. AN INSULT.” Did you get that? Do you understand? Did that come off “bitchy?” Good.
It doesn’t just start and stop with bitch. I have consistently witnessed my fellow women tear one another down in ways that disgust me. And I’m no angel, I have definitely done my fair share of woman hating without even thinking twice. Because that is exactly what we are conditioned to do to protect our own image. We are forced to uphold the mirage of a “classy” and “down to earth” girl, who wouldn’t be caught dead doing something considered “trashy” or “rebellious,” because if we do, we are immediately labeled. It might not be the “bitch” label, but the “whore” label. Or the slut, or the princess, or the prude, or the know-it-all, or the tease, ect. This list can go on forever. The term was even adopted and often used as an insult by men to other men, labeling them as “insubordinate” or “whipped.” (i.e. “Man, you’re really your girl friend’s bitch, aren’t you?”)
Now don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t always have to have the negative connation. Sometimes, we women take back the word “bitch” and use it as power. “Bad bitch,” “tough bitch,” “boss bitch,” ect. This stems from the feminist movement in the 1960’s, coining the term “You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.” We reclaimed some of the power of such an ugly and degrading word that was used to” put us in our place.” But it didn’t stop there.
With every slander we throw at one another, we are telling society that it is okay to be viewed as less than. We are telling men that they hold power over us simply because of the gender we identify. We are making it okay to call us a bitch because we think we are one. Well guess what, YOU ARE NOT. WE ARE NOT. I AM NOT. And it’s not okay. It’s not okay to make me feel small. It’s not okay to talk down to me, down to your peers, down to your friends. Just because someone is doing something you don’t like, that doesn’t make it okay for you to label them. Because every time you do, every time you throw out the casual “bitch” or “slut,” you’re setting the precedent that other people can just as well call you these things.