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Culture

The Ultimate Breakup Playlist

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Kenyon chapter.

Whether we care to admit to it or not, we have all gone through a breakup. And the truth is that it doesn’t matter if you’re the dumped or the dumper – the end of any relationship sucks, period. Now that college campuses around the world are gearing themselves for the tidal wave of end-of-year-break-ups that inevitably occur at the end of the school year (which I have affectionately dubbed ‘the REAL Summer Send-off’), I found it only appropriate that I dwell on this subject the best way I know how: through music. Below you’ll find a list of coping mechanisms (read: songs) adequate for each stage of this trying period.

Stage One: The slow fade.During which you know what’s coming, but aren’t willing to admit it just yet.

Stage Two: The talk.S*** is about to go down.

Stage Three: Shock.What. That just happened.

Stage Four: Denial.I’m so fine right now. It’s kind of weird.  

Stage Five: Anger.WAIT, THAT TOTALLY JUST HAPPENED. WOW.

Stage Six: Bargaining.In which one of you attempts to change in order to please the other (and hopefully get back together).

Stage Seven: Depression.Also called the BJ Stage: Bridget Jones and Ben & Jerry’s.

Stage Eight: Sadness.It’s not quite depression, but you’re still in what seems to be a perpetual bummer state.

Stage Nine: Acceptance.The best stage; you go back to focusing on yourself and what you want out of life (like good grades and that extra slice of pizza).

Stage Ten: Moving on.After all of that, who knows? You and your ex-lover might even become friends by next semester! After all, it’s a small campus and you’re bound to hang out at some point.

There you have it: the ultimate break-up playlist. You can find the complete list (and a few extras!) at the following spotify URL:  The HCK Break-up Playlist!

And if none of these songs work, there’s always the internet and its bottomless pit of cute animal gifs. 

Ally Bruschi is a senior political science major at Kenyon College. She spent this past summer interning as a writer with both The Daily Meal, a digital media group  dedicated to "all things food and drink" and The Borgen Project, a non-profit organization that partners with U.S. policymakers to alleviate global poverty. Before entering the "real world" of jobs, however, Ally spent many summers as a counselor at an all-girls summer camp in Vermont, aka the most wonderful place on earth. A good book, a jar of peanut butter, a well-crafted Spotify playlist, and a lazy dog could get her through even the worst of days.