Cheating. It’s naughty. It’s risky. It’s just plain wrong… right? C’mon girls, being on a college campus with college guys, constantly surrounds us with temptation. It’s no wonder people are so hesitant to dive into a relationship. What is the point of taking yourself off the market, when it’s possible that one of you will grow tired of each other and stray?
But the true question here is: what do you consider cheating? A kiss? A feeling? What about a thought? It is crucial to lay out guidelines with your partner as to what you consider cheating, girls. You do not want to come off as controlling, so tread carefully. In an effort to help you with the talk you’ll eventually have, here are some of the most common “is it cheating or is it not” issues…
The Tongue Twister
To me personally, a kiss on the lips would be considered cheating. I’ve been dating the same guy for the past four years now, and the thought of his lips even touching someone else’s, is a big No-No! Lauren, a sophomore at JMU says, “I don’t care if he was completely drunk, there is no excuse. A kiss is a kiss.” Of course, considering the circumstance, that’s something you could work through.
The Bump and Grind
Now if you’re at all like me, you like to go out. You shower, put on your make-up, wear something that makes you feel hot, walk around in heels, and strut your stuff. But what happens when you’re at a party dancing your butt off and a guy strolls up behind you? What do you do? Think about it. We all know what happens when a girl and a guy get all hot and cozy on the dance floor. Would you want your man getting excited dancing with some other girl? Julie, a junior at JMU says, “Hell no! I don’t want some girls butt anywhere near my boyfriend!” Granted, dancing might not be considered cheating to some people because their “just having fun,” but most girls choose to keep their hands to themselves – along with their boyfriend’s.
The Dirty Deed: Texting
Now girls, we all know how to flirt. We play with our hair, giggle when a cute guy tells us a story, and always remember to smile. Texting however, takes flirting to a whole new level. When your boy is texting someone constantly but not telling you who it is, he’s crossing a line. Why would he hide it, if it were nothing to hide? Hannah, a senior at JMU, says she considers cheating as, “something that you wouldn’t want your boyfriend or girlfriend to find out about.” Unfortunately, being college students, everyone is texting everyone. However, it’s a red flag if it’s frequent, lasts ‘til late at night, or he’s not willing to show you the conversation. I’m not telling you to look through every conversation your boyfriend has had on his phone or his Facebook messages, but when your boy is more focused on having a conversation with her, then to have one with you, that could be something to think about.
The Desired
Impure thoughts are poisonous in a relationship. If there is any time that you are with your partner and you are thinking about that boy from class, you might as well be cheating. Sandra, a graduate of Siena College, posted on my Facebook wall that “the worst kind of cheating is emotional – when you have feelings for someone else while you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or talking to someone else on the side because they make you feel happy.” The idea of dating someone that you couldn’t imagine yourself without, while they’re thinking of someone else, is heart breaking. Most girls I talked to expressed that if someone in the relationship allows their eyes to wander, it would be better to just break up with the person instead of finding out about it later.
So girls, there’s a little 411 on what cheating is considered by your peers. To sum it all up, Rachael, a junior at JMU says that she thinks cheating is, “becoming intimate, whether physically or emotionally, with another person who isn’t your significant other. Because once you cross the line of friendly-flirting, it’s obvious you don’t think too highly of your girlfriend or boyfriend anymore.”