Class registration finished up last week, and as far as I know no one went into cardiac arrest at 7:00 a.m. You think classes at Hopkins are the most stressful thing ever, and in truth they most likely are. However, registering for those classes is a dangerously close second. It’s like those Clique books that we used to read in high school… the only thing harder than getting in, is staying in. I decided to chronicle a typical registration morning, and all the horror that comes with it.
6:30—Your first alarm rings its’ obnoxiously loud wake up call. What the frack, why is my alarm ringing right now, I don’t have class till 10:00, you think. You smile at the prospect of 3 more hours of sleep and turn it off.
6:39—Your second alarm rings. Responsible you anticipated your morning deliriousness last night and made sure to set the all-important back up alarm. After a minor heart attack that you missed registration, you rouse.
6:42—You search for that last class to finish your credits that you didn’t feel like doing last night. After picking an easy intro level to round out your distribution requirements, you look fondly at your cart and imagine a blissful fall semester in your future.
6:51: Oh crap, should I refresh the page? How long does it stay logged in until ISIS logs me out—should I just log back out and in again?
6:52—Better safe than sorry. You briskly log out and back in again.
6:55—It’s about that time to start looking at the accurate world clock app on your phone. It tracks down the tie by the second—Eastern standard, of course.
6:56—You check the order of your classes in your cart, because you’re savvy and know that they register in the same order they are processed. Skillfully, you have placed your most coveted, and smallest enrollment size, classes first, followed by those ones that you really don’t want to take but know that you should.
6:58—You ensure that all boxes next to the class titles are checked off. You position your dominant clicking finger over the touchpad on your laptop. You hold your breath.
6:59—Holy crap this is the longest minute ever. OMG my face itches. Should I scratch it? I don’t want to lift my finger off the clicker. I’ll use my other hand. Nailed it.
**Editors note: I am getting anxiety even typing this**
7:00—GO GO GO!!! You click as soon as the time changes and watch as your computer freezes under the pressure of 1000 college classmates. It’s not working, OMG, should I try again? What’s taking so long!?
7:02—Your computer finally unfreezes, and you see the joyous check mark next to three of your classes and the satanic “X” next to the other two. Oh, one of them is organic chem 2? It’s like the fates knew I shouldn’t take this class.
7:04—Decide to email the professors of the classes you didn’t get and BEG them to let you into their class, or like, you won’t graduate and fail out of school and not get a job and fail out of life.
7:05—Realize that all the classes you got are not actually ones you want and need to take. Consider rushing to enroll in others, but decide against it. Roll back to sleep thinking, I’ll deal with this next semester.
Next Semester: Wow, I hate myself.