I dreaded the day junior year was over. I had no desire to be a senior; I didn’t even want to think about my college career ending. Since I planned on heading home for the summer, I knew I was going to run into various people all with the same horrendous question:
What do you want to do after school?
That one question – those eight simple words – brought so much fear; I couldn’t answer it even if my life depended on it. I would inevitably respond with “I’m not sure,” or “I don’t know yet,” or in my more sarcastic moments, “good question.” In return, I’d receive a small smile, and a “that’s okay, you still have time” with a not-so-tiny inflection of pity.
I was used to that; as a Writing Seminars major, a lot of people ask me what I’m going to do with my degree. And until recently, I really didn’t know. Originally I thought I wanted to be a journalist. I would get to travel, write interesting stories and reviews, and get to meet the coolest people. I wasn’t nervous about working under pressure; deadlines get me moving. But after dabbling a bit in the journalistic world I realized something: I don’t like writing for others. I enjoy writing when it’s for me, under my terms and about things I choose. Yes, as a journalist, I would be able to do that, but probably not until I built up a solid reputation, or after struggling for a very long time. I just wasn’t sure it was my perfect career path.
Instead of writing my own content, I realized how much I loved editing other’s. Whenever people asked for help editing essays, I jumped at the chance. So I thought I’d try to break into the editing industry (not that I really knew – or still know – what that meant) and try for a summer internship in publishing. I applied for almost every one I could find in New York City, around 15 to 20 different companies. I got a few rejections, but mostly got no responses. I did get one interview, which actually lead to an offer.
But on the same day as that interview, I got a phone call from Consumer Reports. I had applied to their Communications internship on a whim – it was close to home, and seemed like it would be something different, but still geared toward the media, of which I had some experience. Long story short, I accepted that internship, with approximately zero idea of what I was getting into. When I showed up on the first day, I couldn’t have been more scared. We had a staff meeting, and I was asked to introduce myself. In response, the team started to tell me a little about what they did.
While that helped me slightly get my bearings, I was still feeling overwhelmed. I felt I didn’t know anything well enough to take charge and just go ahead on projects. So, I did each task I was assigned, and eventually, things started getting easier. While the first draft I wrote of a press release wasn’t my best work, by the middle of the internships, my pitches didn’t need as many edits, and were getting a lot of responses.
As I started crafting my final presentation and self-evaluation, I realized something. This job that I took on a whim, that I knew almost next-to-nothing about, that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do well, turned out to be the best decision I could have made. I’ve already spent a lot of time looking up publicist jobs with PR firms across the country, and researching some Communications Master’s programs.
During the career search it’s hard to remember that not everything is going to be fantastic at all times. There are always points when you’re like, wow I’m bored, am I really going to be doing this for the next 50 to 60 years? But you know you’ve found something worth pursuing when, even at those most boring moments, you’re still looking forward to coming into work the next day. And I got lucky – Consumer Reports gave me an unbelievable opportunity, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Now here’s the thing – the secret they don’t tell you: it doesn’t matter if you don’t know what exactly you want to do. You do have time (and I say this with absolutely zero pity), and you will figure it out. Most of the time, the best way to learn is by doing. You might take a job you think you’ll have almost no interest in, and realize you love it. You might take a job you think you’ll love, and decide you hate it. You never know until you try, and you might hit the jackpot with something you never thought possible.
Am I ready for graduation? Absolutely not. But at least I’m not going to panic (as much) when someone asks me what I want to do afterwards. This is only the beginning of my life and career – and I plan to enjoy it.