It’s hard being a Hopkins student, but luckily it’s not hard to figure out which kind you are. Pick your side- then share with a friend!
Alkimia vs. The Daily Grind: Empanadas or chance to order The Jitter Monster…TOUGH choices
PJs vs. CVP:
Are you trying to slip and fall tonight, or are you trying to stand outside and smoke?
Eddie’s vs. Schnapp Shop:Some want a gourmet bottle of Barefoot, some want six FourLokos. Which are you?
Lacrosse vs. Non-Lacrosse:
TEST: Do you own a motorized scooter? Do you believe in mullets? If yes to either of these, you’re probably a lax god!
Subway vs. Uni Mini: Is your best friend Mehrdad, or are you boys with Ganesh? Where will we find you after 1 a.m.?
Charmar vs. Giant:
When you grocery shop, do you pay $11.59 for grapes, or $4.00 like a sane person?
Hershel backpack vs. Any other backpack: A surefire way to tell humanities and engineering majors apart!
People who hold the door to the glass tunnel vs. People who hold it, but you’re at an awkward distance, so you have to run and HATE IT:
Just let it slam shut on me. Anything but the forced speedwalk, I beg you.
Tap J-Cards vs. Swipe J-Cards: “Back in my day, we used to spill our coffee, put down our bags, and SWIPE before entering a building…”
Carmas vs. Tambers: Where to get Sunday brunch?? Depends on whether you woke up in your own lovely bed, or somewhere else…with your sticky bra missing
People who took easy Intro to Psych vs. People who took harder Intro to Psych: Oh, did you CRUSH this class? SO happy for you!
People who go to 8 formals vs. People who’ve never been:
TEST: What does “Reading Period” mean to you?
Slap cup vs. Flip cup: Are you a hardo, or are you not a hardo? Your drinking game of choice tells us everything we need to know!
Loyola girls vs. Hopkins girl:
Check: Is she wearing wedges in Wawa? Did she hear about this party from Tinder? Your school is more fun honey, go home!
People who want the humanities center closed vs. People who know what the humanities center is:
This is a battle for the ages- will you be on the right side of history?
Gatorade bottles vs. Swell bottles: Does your water taste like money, or like it came from Cordish? Oh wait, same thing.