In honor of National Mean Girls Day (Aaron Samuels, we will always thank you for asking Cady what day it was), I’ve decided to point out to you the five most important things that Mean Girls taught our generation. Probably the most quotable movie, in my book, MG has a ton of underlying lessons that you probably never even realized you took from it. Let’s begin.
1. The Rule of Feminism. Thank you, Gretchen Wieners, for pointing out that “ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends.” Of course, different situations call for different measures (Regina was obviously into hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium, and we were totally rooting for Cady and Aaron), but there it is ladies. Chicks before…well, you know.
2. “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant…and die.” Alright, so a bit exaggerated, but Coach Carr is just looking out for you! You’re young and experimenting and it’s important to be safe with whatever you choose to do. If not, you may get Chlamydia. “K-L-A…”
3. Halloween is coming up, and as Cady learns, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total sl** and no other girls can say anything about it.” Sure, this is all good and well, HOWEVER: Cady’s “ex-wife” costume was pretty bada$$. And come on, Aaron was totally diggin’ on it! Creativity is a great thing, so have fun with your Halloween getup this year. Okay, so maybe don’t make yourself too repulsive, but be like Cady and stray from the norm.
4. A guy is NOT worth failing a class over. Even Aaron Samuels. Your grades are important, and even though being a mathlete is social suicide, it’s so important to stay up on your schoolwork. College is a time to do so many things, but don’t forget what we’re here for! Besides, the last thing you want is to get a guy to feel bad for you in order to like you. A charity case does NOT equal a girlfriend.
5. You will be personally victimized by Regina George at least once in your life. It will be horrible, and you’ll want to take it all out on your Burn Book, but it’s not the end of the world. Life goes on. The Regina Georges of the world will one day realize that there’s much more to life than fitting into their size three prom dresses and putting others down for their ugly effing skirts. Until then, take note that you are your own person, and THAT is way more fetch than being a carbon copy of someone else. Once you realize that, you can bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone can eat and be happy.
Happy MG day, collegiettes! You go, Glenn Coco.