This past week, two events sent girls across the world into utter shock and despair. Girls under the age of 12, as well as many self-respecting girls between the ages of 13 and 23, who also happen to be emotionally unstable, were ruined over the actions of Justin Bieber and Zayn Malik.
This week Zayn Malik announced he was leaving One Direction, resulting in the sea-level rising an inch as One Directioner’s tears ran through the streets. Zayn Malik, currently 22 years old, has been known as the quiet and mysterious band member, who is wildly attractive. His quitting One Direction came shortly after he left the band’s tour to return home to the UK, amidst rumors of him cheating on his fiancé. Escaping rumors was one incentive to leave the band, but Zayn has also hinted that he hasn’t been completely happy with the direction of the band for some time now, as his personal interests differ from the general mentality of the band. While this week had a rough start for many One Directioner’s, there is some hope for Zayn. Just a day after his announcement, Zayn was seen walking into a recording studio with word of his first solo release close behind.
As tweens were flooding physiologist’s offices this week to mend their broken hearts…(now ripped in two directions), a new wave of young girls were found seeking the help of a therapist. The reason for this influx was due to indecent exposure after watching the Roast of Justin Bieber on Comedy Central. Bieber took responsibility for his numerous questionable actions over the past few years that have garnered much negative attention, as he subjected himself to the Roast. Hosted by Kevin Hart, the stage was flanked by Shaq, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg (Lion?) and Martha Stewart, to name a few. Yes, that’s correct, Martha Stewart picked up her fine linens from her meticulous place setting to whip a boy the age of her grandson.
While there was a significant amount of roasting aimed at all the guest speakers, the main attention was focused on Bieber’s questionable life decisions. Specifically, his failed attempts at being an OG, Selena Gomez, the abandonment of his pet monkey, and his physical appearance. But throughout all of the crude jokes made at his expense, Bieber remained calm and collected, and seemingly comfortable. To finish the show, he made some roasts of his own, and then assumed a serious tone to address his remorse for his past actions and thankful support and encouragement from fans, friends and family. While this week was traumatizing for many young girls, and equally as exhausting for their parents, Zayn and Justin reminded us to take responsibility for our actions and pursue our passions. And Kevin Hart reminded us that Snoop Dogg should never again wear Chuck Taylors.