As black women, we endure a lot of ignorant, senseless, and uneducated comments about anything from our physical appearance to our lifestyle and more. Within the boundaries of society and all of its stereotypical depictions of the black woman, it is hard to react assertively without feeding into a “bossy black woman with a big mouth”. Therefore, as a person who has had to handle these situations on a regular basis, I thought it was only right to give my melanated queens some advice on how to clapback with class and sass.
***Disclaimer: Although this article is highlighting the black woman, it is not exclusive to that particular group. Being a woman alone, of any color, creed, or background is a reason to stand up for oneself whenever necessary. ***
Photo courtesy of The Enigmatic Blackbird
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Simply ignore them – When it comes to other people, male or female, commenting on popularized features like black hair and facial features (lips, nose, etc.) they tend to connotate it with being unattractive and ugly. However, if you happen to have those “preferable” Eurocentric features than you should be somewhat “grateful” or “happy” to not. In situations like this, it is hard to get across the dynamics and intricacies of your background to someone who is most likely uninterested of being informed, so it’s best to flip your hair and walk away.
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Demolish them with your intelligence – Sometimes you can’t just resort to calling someone ignorant because they just aren’t infused in an environment similar to your own. So instead of clapping back in an aggressive way, its best to give them a brief lesson on how to approach a black girl with such immaculate features and how to do so in a non-offensive way
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Enlighten them – You can make this a time to teach a person a lesson in a very positive way. It can be something as simple as telling them, “No, I do not wash my hair every day because it’s curly and produces enough oil to moisturize the follicles.” This may seem odd to some people but it is a unique way to counteract the ignorance.
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Expose them to the culture – Rather than simply educating a person, showing them can be better off. You can offer to bring them to a party with you, shopping, or anything in your normal routine that can emphasize their need to alter the way they speak to or approach a black girl.
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Help them rephrase unintended microaggressions – Instead of saying, “Do you really not wash your hair every day?”, you could say “What is your hair care routine?/ How do you do your hair?” It is a much more respectful way of saying that you’re interested in knowing how I manage to style my hair texture. Although some who ask may not intend to offend you, it can be a little disrespectful to ask as if it’s up for questioning.
Ultimately, as black women, we have the right and vigor to stand up for ourselves. Despite what some ignorant or unaware minds must think of us, we are not bossy or have an attitude, we were just born with class, sass…and a mouth just like them.