Oh, hello again. The second installment to this (absolutely) necessary list is written in the hopes- no, the guarantee- that upon reading the first installment a few weeks back you all deemed me as your primary source of inspiration and wisdom. You all thought: Wow-wee! This eighteen year old who, like most teenagers, oftentimes lives life a la Alice and Wonderland- very seldom taking their own advice- definitely knows what the heck she’s blabbing on (and on, and on, and on) about. Not to mention the zero qualifications said eighteen year old has to advise anybody, on any matter- Justin Bieber included.
All right, even though that’s probably 99% of nobody’s initial reaction to the first set of five resolutions I published, I still secretly like to believe that, perhaps, you even listened to them. And, perhaps, you even felt like trying some of them out. And, perhaps, you even felt a little better finding new music to get addicted to that isn’t Pure Heroine; felt a little better once you took all of your negative energy toward bracing the nippy weather outdoors and eating questionable DC food (what exactly is inside of a “Swai Turban” and is it FDA approved?) and brought yourself back into society. Or- and this is certainly a toughie- felt a little better once you actually stopped playing Dong Ngyuen’s satanic creation: Flappy Bird, (which, by the way, was taken down from the App Store to comply with the creator’s wishes.) So if you took my advice and deleted it, it’s gone. Forever. As it should be.
So, why did the list change? Why did this become a column? Well, someone (me) decided to procrastinate until 2013 really became so last year- so last year in fact, I’m starting to write the proper year on all my notes (2014, in case you hadn’t noticed) without wasting gallons of whiteout. Therefore, below are two more things to leave in the past- check back weekly for some more!
7) Complaining About The Haverbubble
Here’s my question: why is this a thing?
In case you haven’t noticed by now, we go to a small liberal arts college, and small doesn’t even begin to cover it. The campus is only home to roughly about 1,200 students, 61% of our faculty, several obnoxious geese, and scampering black squirrels (yes, they’re no myth outsider-who-may-be-reading-this-article, they’re a hundred percent real, and a hundred percent adorable.)
Furthermore, we’re located smack-dab in the middle of a serene suburban town on Philadelphia’s Main Line. Well, serene if you aren’t caught trying to go to Wawa or CVS around 4pm. A Main Line Mom will run you over with zero remorse in attempts to get her children on time for soccer practice if you don’t look both ways.
You can say that sometimes, things can get quiet. Desolate, even. At a certain point of most weekday afternoons, I see more dogs outside with their owners than I see students. On weekends, the noise levels are sparse. They come and go and usually start at 11pm in wavelengths, traveling from a few HCA’s, right up to the second floor of Kim Hall, nearing the corner to Founders, approaching a few lit-up Lloyd establishments, rounding off to Lunt, and finalizing its journey at Gummere Basement. On it’s way around the campus, the noise may have made a pit-stop or two at Drinker. And this all depends on how many events are happening in one night that one can, as the young’uns say, “turn up” at.
But there’s stuff going on even before that. Actually, a plethora of culturally immersive, musically engaging, and, occasionally, outrageous activities are going on starting the minute that beautiful sunset we Fords love to post hits the horizon on the lacrosse field. The noise of a cappella shows, basketball games, Nerd House karaoke, or FAB dating games, is just cleverly muffled outside of the seventy stone structures that are speckled onto Haverford’s green.
Yet, the whiners never cease about the “social limitations” within the Haverbubble. Ugh but, everything here can get soooo lame and suffocating. There were only, like, forty people at the FUCS show last night. I know everyone here. Every single face. And it’s only been like a few weeks I need to get out. Ah, little Haverfordian, but isn’t it true that you chose to go to this miniscule institution with its miniscule student body? And huh, that’s funny, I never heard you complain about the Haverbubble when it came down to being able to leave your crap anywhere without risk of it being stolen. Or that time when the rest of Philadelphia’s power was out due to a snowstorm, but most of our campus was able to be powered by generator because of its size.
Needless to say, ya’ll just need to calm down and love the school you’re in a little bit more. The people here are genuinely lovely, and like you, want to unwind from all the hard work that they cranked out during the week at night. Don’t have a clue on what to spend your free time on? Go on the Go! Boards and prepare to be slightly nauseated but also incredibly excited by all the red links blaring at you with upcoming activities. Still need to get away? Hop aboard that Tri-Co Van to hang with our pals at Bryn Mawr or Swat, or hey, get on that Septa Regional and explore Center City.
Just remember, although Haverford may be small in numbers, its big on friendliness and fun (cheesy, but true.)
8) Bashing Miley Cyrus:
The self-proclaimed queen of the twerk received all sorts of shade last year. It seemed like the world was outraged by her sudden transformation from Disney-manufactured blondie, and devoted fiancé to Gale Hawthorne, (a.k.a, Liam Hemsworth, Melbourne-born divine being,) to all-tongues-out pop princess.
Sure, the skimpy outfits on stage and her blaringly provocative aura tend to raise eyebrows, but there’s a lot to learn from the Bangerz diva. Not only can she rock a pixie cut and an internet-cat inspired outfit, she completely shed a personality that was a product of child-star rearing in a few months time, and came into her own.
Instead of letting terrible press, and an even more terrible, highly-publicized break-up tear her down, she only committed herself to pushing the boundaries of the music industry, the fashion industry, and the traditional gender roles imposed by these industries. She had to lick a few Barbie dolls along the way, but now Miley dominates the pop scene, sending us all the clear image that we can do whatever we want to; we can’t be stopped, and nor will she. So it just goes to say that bashing on Miley is pretty much pointless, and we should look beyond her crazy antics for the more positive message.