What started three years ago as an orientation program addressing sexual assault awareness and prevention at Bowdoin college, is now a show that has been performed on many campuses across New England. Speak About It is a combination of skits and monologues performed by five trained sexual assault peer mediators. The show is a compilation of true stories portraying every possible personal experience you can think of and some you’d never.
I was intrigued by the story of a bisexual guy “choosing” to be straight. Despite his occasional attraction to other men, he wanted to continue being an all-American red blooded male and not be judged by his sexual attraction. It wasn’t about covering up, but about choosing his own identity rather than letting others force him into a box. I was more than a little bothered by the portion of the show that focused on rape. It wasn’t because of the statistics (at least one out every four women will be the victim of sexual assault during her college career), but it was about the interpretation of what rape is, which I felt was way too loose. Is it rape if you drink all night and then wake up naked in your bed next to a guy that you hardly know with no memory of what preceded the night before? Or is it just a mistake? How can it be rape if you did not physically or verbally express your desire not to have sex to the person with whom you are in a sexual relationship?
Of course the central message of the show became clearer. It is important to get consent, always, and at every stage. Although it’s easy to tell people to speak up, sometimes we don’t. We may be afraid or confused. But we can still feel violated. For the sake of both parties, consent is crucial. We may think it’s awkward to ask, but hearing your partner say yes is way sexier than being accused of sexual assault later on.
You can learn more about the “Speak About It” performance and tour dates at http://speakaboutitonline.com/.