Dear Freshmen,
Rise and shine; your housing fate awaits you. Do you hear the upperclassmen banging down your door, or the blaring vuvuzelas in the yard or your sobbing blockmate, who tells you between sniffles, that you just got Cabot? Can’t you feel the blood in your veins turns cold as you realize you have been QUADDED?
And then you wake up from this nightmare. You open the door and you accept the letter that says you’re in Lowell and then you live happily ever after; except for Sundays, when the bells relieve you from your sleep but not your hangover.
But what if this isn’t you? What if you actually get Quadded or worse, one of the silent killers—the carbon monoxide and high blood pressure of Harvard housing—Mather or Dunster?
Eh, you’ll be fine. Every house has its perks and on the other side of the coin, no house is perfect. The singles in Mather tower are some of the best rooms on campus—I might stage a strike to keep mine after graduation—and the Eliot elephant is actually a terrible conversationalist. (But seriously, Winthrop is known more for its cockroaches than its Straus Cup streak and the Quad shuttle is very convenient).
So wake up early. The frenzy is pretty much over by ten am, so it’s worth it to miss the sleep. Remember to go to Annenberg for lunch; upperclassmen and mascots will be there to greet/yell at you. The lunch special is Grilled Reuben Sandwich with a Side of Screaming. It’s actually worth it to go to the tours and such offered by your houses, particularly if you’re disappointed by your housing assignment.
As for you upperclassmen, try not to get too wasted today; it is single-digit hours. The last thing you want to do is send freshmen this message: “You get to live in Leverett House! Also, you’re going
to become an alcoholic!” Though you should save the Solo cups for tonight, I recommend no limits on the following things: body paint, confusing residents of Cambridge, hugging freshmen, challenging mascots to duels, and house spirit.
Best,
A Curmudgeonly Upperclassman
Photo courtesy of news.harvard.edu