Imagine that you have the chance to meet your future self. Once you’re past the “how is this even possible?” aspect of the encounter, you’ll want to ask yourself about a few things: how your family’s doing, who you’re still friends with, and, most importantly, where you are in that distant time–success-wise. Did you finally get hired by that consulting firm? Write that script? Run for office? Contribute to groundbreaking research? Is your life full of the successes you’d been dreaming of since the day you finished college–or, most likely, long before then?
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about being successful in my future, and I assume plenty of other aspiring writers (and anyone in any field) fret over the same thing. Part of it is doubt in the strength of your talents, the other a fear of falling behind the competition. After all, there’s always someone who’s going to be one step ahead of your game or slightly better than you at your best skill. So, with the little voice in your head reminding you of these disappointing possibilities, how do you ensure that your future self is one you’d be proud to meet in the present?
Last Thursday evening I attended Glamour Magazine’s Panel in New York City titled “How to Land Your Dream Job in 2014: Secrets of Success From Women Who Know”and learned that these worries about success have been shared by some of the most talented women in the entertainment business. More importantly, I saw the results of overcoming those doubts to find success in the form of six accomplished professionals and ten prize-winning collegiettes–and took home some valuable pieces of advice on the topic. Advice, by the way, that challenged and changed my original ideas about success.
[From left: Glamour Editor-in-Chief Cindi Leive, Orange is the New Black actress Danielle Brooks, How I Met Your Father actress Greta Gerwig, Healthy Soul with Gina Keatly chef and host Gina Keatly, Makers executive producer Dylan McGee, and 30 Rock writer Colleen McGuiness.]
The first thing: on the journey to your dream job, remain positive and remember your self worth. Success, the panelists emphasized, comes when you forget your perceived limitations and instead focus on your intrinsic value. Turn up the volume on motivating self-talk; mute the voices that try to diminish your confidence. “In order to do anything ambitious,” one speaker instructed, “you must have an inherent sense of self-worth.” There’s no harm in trying when you remember that your value is separate from your achievements; “you really have nothing to lose,” writer (and Harvard alum) Colleen McGuiness said.
This fact, that “every woman is worth it” brought Gina Keatly to discuss another aspect of success particular to her personal story. Keatly “came from poverty and never thought [she’d] go to school”; homeless for most of her formative years, she wasn’t on the typical track for a high-profile career. Then, after discovering her passion and drive to improve her life, she applied to and was accepted to New York University. Keatly wasn’t sure that NYU would appreciate her “honest” essay (i.e., laced with expletives); but “not only did they accept [her], [she] also sits on the Executive Board.” The moral of Keatly’s success story? “Just because you came from somewhere doesn’t mean you have to end up there.” There’s always potential to move forward.
As if advice from top writers and actresses wasn’t enough, the event also honored the ten winners of Glamour’s Top Ten College Women of 2014. These talented young ladies were examples of the successes found by following their passions or commitment to an important cause. Each of the winners, from a student hand-picked by Beyoncé to photograph part of her 2011 tour to a U.S. Olympic fencer, wowed us with their dedication and determination to make their mark on the world–including twins from Harvard, Ishani Premaratne and Inesha Premaratne.
[Glamour’s Top Ten College Women of 2014 smile for the audience. Each winner received $3,000 for her work; grand-prize winner Kendall Ciesemier of Georgetown University took home $20,000.]
With all of the accomplishments on display, it didn’t seem like “failure” could be a part of these women’s vocabularies. The panelists, however, shared some stories where failure was integral to their achievements. Greta Gerwig, now a Golden Globe-nominated actress, didn’t get in to her top college choice (Julliard), or even her second choice (NYU). Dylan McGee, who counts the first female to run the Boston Marathon among her impressive list of interview subjects, was told by NBC she’d fit in better at a “smaller” company. Despite these setbacks, both women continued to work towards their career goals, and found that “failing” only brought them to new (and better!) opportunities. The message in rejection, they stressed, is to “just keep going.” Surprisingly, failure can also be a motivational strategy: “failure is the best tool you have,” Keatly said. “Failure makes you angry, and anger pushes you.”
Another surprise about success? It can be shared. During the panel, Danielle Brooks referred to her relationship with her castmates on Orange is the New Black as a “sisterhood,” stressing the importance of fostering encouraging attitudes in all-female environments. Why bring each other down through competition when we can help each other out? “There’s room for all of us on top,” Brooks emphasized.
After all this talk about finding success, how do you know when you actually have it? I came to New York City with the expectation that this panel would calm my fears of not “making it” in the industry–and found that the essence of success can be a completely separate entity from anything having to do with career or beating out the competition. Colleen McGuiness’s definition of this elusive ideal particularly stood out and is now written down for me to look at every time I sit down to write (or to procrastinate). Her words suggest that success isn’t dependent on that coveted dream job (although it’s amazing if you land it); it’s something you can have at any time in your life, at any job and in any place. In fact, it’s far easier to find than I had originally believed.
[Posing with my Glamour gift bag–filled with L’oréal Paris and Vera Bradley goodies–after the event. Covering an event hosted by a major publication feels like one step closer to those dream jobs the panelists currently have!]
Real success, as she put it, is “when you want what you have.” I think I can say that about my present–and hope that my future self would say the same.