Ask Elle: Overcommitted

Dear Elle,

So, I’m almost a month into school and my inbox is flooded with emails from the million and one groups I signed up for at the activities fair. I have no idea how I’m going to do all this, but I’m also really afraid of missing out on something awesome. I’m starting to feel like I’m drowning in activities. Help?

HCXO,

Overcommitted

Dear Overcommitted,

The activities fair is a beautiful and dangerous thing—beautiful because you find out about awesome clubs you didn’t know existed and dangerous because you can end up on every email list on campus. (That, and those egg rolls. Yeek.)

The intensity of Harvard life is one of its best qualities, but it can be deadly if you overdose. It’s so easy to take on more than you can handle and so hard to say no. Every Harvard senior has gone through a patch where they were overcommitted, and we got through it! So can you. It’s a learning process.

Make a list of every club you’re in, or want to be in. It’s dorky, but do it. Now go through the list. See all those organizations you’re not really interested in but felt guilted into checking out? Cross those off and get off those email lists! Even clubs desperate for members don’t want people who don’t want to be there.

Are there any you joined just for their reputation/name and nothing else, thinking they would look good on a resume? Let’s call them resume doilies: pretty but not at all functional. No one likes doilies. Quit those! Passion, commitment, and leadership will get you a job in the future, and you can only practice those on something you really care about. It doesn’t matter if it’s the Harvard Crimson or the Harvard Yo-Yo Club—no one’s going to care unless you do.

How about that activity that sounds pretty neat in theory, the one you’ve been putting off but totally want to check out, like next week!! Nope. Gone. Either go THIS week or get it off your list, since it’s just one more “to-do” that will never get done. If you can’t even make time to try it out for size then you’re definitely not going to make time to participate for real.

Now you should have a list of clubs you like and clubs you love. Good work! Here’s where a trial by fire might come in: do as many as you can until you feel yourself burning out. Don’t push yourself too far! Notice which meetings you have to drag yourself to and which assignments you’re excited to get started on. Figure out which activities energize you and which ones drain you. Now quit the ones that drain you. But Elle! you say, it’s going to be so awkward to quit, and I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, and—nope! Those are excuses, not reasons. This is the hard part, but it’s important. It’s easy to get bogged down in activities out of habit even when they stop being fun, so don’t fall into the trap! You’re a young intelligent collegiette, captain of your fate, master of your extracurricular schedule, and your priority has to be YOUR well-being. Now, I’m not saying to quit the day before the big show. I am saying to give your figurative (or actual?) two-weeks notice and leave without being a jerk, or at least ease up enough to start enjoying yourself again.

If you’re only doing things that you’re crazy about and still can barely catch your breath, it’s time to make some sacrifices. Remember, if you’re exhausted then you’re not going to love any of the things that you do. Pick your least favorite—you know which it is!—and just drop it. The energy you’ll have to put into what’s left will help you make up for what you gave up.

Sometimes we have 1001 interests and 10 minutes a day to devote to them. Maybe you don’t have time to do everything you love, but you have time to do the things you can’t live without. Once you’re committed to the essentials, you’ll have room for the occasional experimentation, and you’ll know how to keep from going overboard.

Now go get ‘em, tiger!

HCXO,

Elle