Santa made a list—he checked it twice. And guess what? If you were caught with a glitter beard, you were not put with those who were nice.
Sorry for the rhyme, you guys. This new Christmas trend is just making me a tad delusional—and not in the good way.
You see, for reasons unbeknownst to me, Christmas cheer decided it was time for something new and refreshing this holiday season. Only, they forgot to consider one thing: this trend is A-W-F-U-L: awful!
So, what’s the hot topic during these cold days? Well, where do I even begin? You see, this fad is beyond confusing, so I’m going to take it back to the elementary school days and spell everything out…easy as 1, 2, 3.
1. Glitter Beard: A Santa length beard which gets covered in glue and drenched in piles of red and green glitter (or blue and white for my Hannukah lovers!). Basically, it’s the tackiest invention of mankind. Was grandma’s talking Christmas sweater just not enough? Seriously, get a grip…
2. The 12 Gay Beards Of Christmas: The “holiday special” where creators of the Christmas beard, thegaybeards, post increasingly gaudy photos of their beards partaking in the Christmas cheer. Oh, but wait, there’s more. Whatever planet they’re from, who told these two twins it was socially acceptable to hang mini ornaments from the hairs on their chinny, chin, chins. Stop. Just stop. I literally cannot.
My Biggest Pet Peeve: Glitter Beards. I’m not the Grinch. I say go all out spreading joy and happiness this holiday season. But, as with everything, we have to draw a line. And well, my friend, glitter beards cross that line. It’s time they go back to where they came from (A.K.A. nonexistence).
I met with Rudolph—this trend is hard no. Glitter beards have got to go. Dammit! Rhyming again….